facing the digital demons, surprise mail, and just overall appreciation

well, i have to say it folks. i'm depressed. and i'm not trying to flag your attention. i'm fine. i kind of like it here. because it really makes me evaluate my situations and this is a VERY PRODUCTIVE time for me. so don't feel as though you have to gush about how much you hope i get better... because this is how i get better!!!

I want to put this out there. i don't remember where i heard it but it has stuck with me since. "depression is a very natural and healthy way to react to something overwhelming in your life"

just own it. don't let it own you. i'm sad and blah these days due to everything... school, life, all this assistance i'm trying to get and realizing i'm DEPENDENT, child support battles, work, and most of all - missing the one thing in my life that holds my little frazzled pieces together on a daily basis. My life is not falling apart. I am not falling apart. I am just very well aware of how hard it is for me to keep it all together. and i appreciate that is still together. and this is just my way of holding on to that. re-evaluating my game plan. cool??

Lately, i've been receiving emails of people concerned that i'm drifting off. Not the case. but thank you so much for taking the time to care. It means the world to me. Thanks to angie who sent me a little email telling me "come on! get with it. you're a fighter" and i saw that and thought here's one rowdy bitch just keeping me going. and i love you! Greta tells me "suck it up. dry the tears" and while she did it to be funny, Greta you are just the world to me in that little sentence.

... and then JocelynneB surprises me with a little snail mail. a card out of nowhere just saying "i know you can do this"

and i am beyond blown away with how much you little "blog friends" actually mean to me. you have shown more support than those in my life that exist in 3-D form.

so thank you for your concerns. quips. and swift kicks in the ass. they all keep me on my toes and i love each of you dearly!

then i tackled the photoshop. i was visiting Missy's Blog a while back and saw her gorgeous layout of her son with the Dixie Chicks lyrics to "Godspeed" and just had to do a layout because it just seemed to fit right now that laken is gone.

Godspeed Little Man <---- link takes you to the post on TwoPeas

blogger all of a sudden decided one picture was the max on this post