sigh... has it been two weeks yet?

There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they've left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there's nothing... but empty space and silence.


soooo....
for the next fourteen days my son will not be with me. he will not be in the city. or the state. or the time zone even...

he will be in Pennsylvania!

i'm so depressed. and sad. (in case those are two different things)

this morning was a total hell saying goodbye. my dad took off into the wide world of travel. my mom, dad, and brother are on vacation. going to see the grandparents. the gravel flew about the driveway as my dad peeled out and there i stood in the driveway of their house. crying. their take off was akin to ripping a bandaid off a wound.

for the last 15 months i've spent maybe a handful of nights away from my son. he is my stability. my reason. my everything. my life. and now... now i'm sitting in my house alone. and there is no little boy running around. and i'm not crying because i don't think it's really registered that he won't be running around for another 14 days. i haven't picked up his toys. thrown out his diaper from last night. nothing.

sigh.

but. school starts monday. i'm working like a mad woman. and time... time just HAS to go by quickly. i'm leaving it no choice. it HAS to. because if it takes too long... i'll go insane.

seriously