Just As i Am...

you might be a bad mom if...

2008-07-23T17:12:00.000-07:00

your son wakes up in the morning and you go back to sleep.

a bit later, he holds two dandelions in your face and tells you he brought you flowers.
you think "oh...mmmmhmmm. that's great"

and then realize, wait! where did he get flowers from?!

and then jump out of bed to see the front door has been unlocked and your son has gone downstairs and picked flowers for you.

hmmm.

and if that's not a reason to win the award...
the other night, we had chicken nuggets dipped in ice cream. cause it's yummy!

lookie lookie!

2008-05-12T20:41:00.001-07:00

sooooo,
i decided, after greta was on my case to start bloggin' again, that i guess i should start bloggin' again.

lemme start this off by saying that i'm old. in fact... i've GOTTEN old. i'm not exciting anymore. so don't get too happy about the whole "she's blogging again!" thing!

sooo here's the deal. i'll do this. mostly for greta. but more for me. cause i miss it, truth be told.

i'm sorry.... soooooo sorry!

2007-03-01T18:41:00.000-08:00

ok.
after long hours of thought
i've decided to withdraw from
the blogging and scrapbooking community
my life is taking some new turns
and this just doesn't fit into the equation anymore

i do have a new blog up
for the photo biz
but it'll be strictly photo
and a lot less personal

as of next week
this blog will not exist

if you're interested in the photo blog
shoot me an email
chriselda924@yahoo.com
it's still in the works
but i'm excited

i'll leave you with a couple of shots from Beehive
the musical at the Amarillo Little Theatre
that i was FORTUNATE to photograph!

such a blast
if you can't be in the show...
photograph it!

not the brightest crayon in the box

2007-02-13T13:52:00.000-08:00

please... laugh at my expense:

(in a recent Instant Messenger Conversation with Brandy)

C - i'm fat. i wanna lose 50lbs.
B - if Jared can do it, so can we!
C- how much did he lose?
B - shit tons
C - really?
B - yeah the pants he holds up are always HUGE so, yeah, SHIT TONS!
C - how'd he do it?
B - eating Subway...
C - oh! JARED! omg. i'm such a dumbass. i thought you were talking about your husband!!!

and then brandy laughed until her eyes watered.

and on that note - i'm off to indulge in Two for Tuesday

oh yeah, and i bought a new car!

2007-02-05T01:30:00.000-08:00

Regis and Kelly are having a contest for america's most beautiful babies... my mom wanted to enter laken. and here is the photo that was used... Downside? he's gonna win. how could he not?!
and i don't think i have time to jumpstart his modeling/child star career!

hahaha

laken and i spent the afternoon playing
all so i could avoid actually cleaning my nasty house! i pulled out the camera and he loved it! so i gave him the tiny one to play with. can i just tell you that this is a kid after my own heart? (even if he IS looking through the wrong end of the camera...)

isn't this kid just way to cute?! this is me trying to get manual functions on the camera down pat. the f/1.8 is a little tricky when i throw in the flash! i LOVE this even though he's waaaaaay blown out!

this is a close up of the above photo. i'm not sure if you can see it or not, but if you look closely, you can see me in his eyeball!!! my whole body! and my ginormous flash and sphere! wicked awesome. i LOVE it!!!!

ok. i have to go to bed now!

just because i CAN!!!!

2007-02-01T22:51:00.000-08:00

sooooo. the good ol' camera is back! and let me tell you that three months of photo research and really dealing with this passion has been such a pain. and NOW i get to play again!

the best part of a taco
is the grease
trust me on this one

this is my gramma
she's such a faithful person
and i had intended to write this
well thought out
and eloquently spoken post

but it's 1am
she prays
constantly
and i'll remember her for it

this is my favorite
but i'm a sucker for the black and white

i forgot how to use my canon
since the studio uses nikon
and i realized my shutter was
like 30 seconds
in Manual Mode
so this was a close up of my gramma's
rosary
and totally blurry
you can see the cross
i dunno... i kinda like it!

the story behind this is
my gramma has jesus/god everywhere
i have a ton more photos of her house
and all her religious knacks
i'll post a link soon
but she has her Rosary (prayer beads)
collection overflowing!
she has one in ever purse (around 10)
and several on her bed
and has a little altar type thing with candles and rosaries
my MOM is named "Rosario" (rose-r-eo) which is spanish for rosary.

and lastly, i got a new lens for my camera
it's a 50mm fixed lens
but can shoot at 1.8
this... this is the grand look
look how gorgeous that DOF is!!!
and that's my friend alison, aka my manager
also got a GARY FONG flash sphere
to help diffuse the harshness of flash
this is my camera at 50mm f1.8 and Canon 580ex with the fong sphere at ISO 400

superb!
look for more pics to come now that i'm back in business!!!!

just because it's 5am

2007-01-23T03:12:00.000-08:00

camera still isn't back
i have a Senior Session on the 4th
a wedding on the 10th
both are paid sessions

let the stress begin...

P.S Girl Scout cookies are always on sale this time of year. first part of January. anyway. i'm down to Two Boxes.... time to hit 'em up STYLE!

lookie lookie!!!

2007-01-19T22:04:00.000-08:00

Girl Scout Cookies are on sale
and on my ass now in the shape of 50 extra pounds
I got my business cards for the freelance gig i do
and realized i can't spell "approching"
i'm watching a Nick Nolte movie
and i don't know what it is
but i'm too lazy to change the channel

I think i might scrapbook soon
So, I auditioned for another play
i did well
i didn't get it
Which, is honestly ok with me
i mean i'm sad
but a little relieved
mostly relieved
i tried
win some
lose some

also got a new Lomography Fisheye Camera
best money i ever spent

here's a little sample of the goods (and my photoshop skills)

oh and... if you are all into PS, they released CS3 and you can get the Beta at Adobe's Site

oh em jee (omg)

laken is drugged in this picture
he was sick
we were on our way to Cracker Barrell
for meatloaf

ok.
i'm tired

where's the tylenol?

2007-01-14T18:59:00.000-08:00

no more kate and owen
still don't understand the Family Stone
You're the One that i Want - almost the best show on TV
60s music... it should run through my veins soon, hopefully

right now...

this makes me happy
he's so cute
and apparently, buff
i can't decided if i think he's hotter than his sister, Maggie

the kid is sick
and uber clingly

new words this week are "pwease" and "wheredgo" (where did it go?)
"wawa" (water) "leche" (spanish for milk)

i'm sure there are more
i want to travel
like, now

did sarah jessica parker just say "hold the phone"
wtf???
when did she go ghetto?

also, if you have recently switched to blogger beta, i've lost your RSS feed on my blog lines. Michelle-O i can't find you girl...

and, despite that i leave no comments. i do read. i know that you've all take photos of the things you love in your house. i know that you're keeping things fancy simple. i know that your obessesed with posters. that your friend is recovering from a driveby, that Hawaii was great, that you drive barefoot in mississippi, that people are talking shit about you on other sites (you self absorbed biotch), that your pictures are rawking ass... and i'm looking right here!!!, that you're waiting to travel with your snappy new luggage, and that your scrappy skills are making me sick but i'm glad you're enjoying the beer... and i love the new avatar!

i love high heels
ok.
that's all

yay! i love things...

2007-01-07T14:00:00.000-08:00

there are certain things i don't have
like a 26 inch waist
a trust fund
a song ready to sing for auditions next week
the scrappin' bug

but, i do have a sense of humor
and that gets me through it all
tonight, i'm orderin' pizza (screw the carb protest)
and sitting on my couch to watch
You're the One that i Want
heck yes
cheese galore
and i'm not talking about the pizza!

i'm not saying there's anything wrong with Tiaras
if you're getting married
or you are, in fact, a princess

i'm not saying there's anything wrong with
carrying around a magic wand either

... unless you're over the age of 5
this girl was celebrating her birthday
with the above mentioned
and it was ridiculous
she was so drunk
turned around and showed me $200 worth of
plastic necklaces hanging from her neck
i was just trying to eat my salad
had to snap this shot of her

went shopping today and picked up a couple of things
that felt nice
for once i got to shop for myself
this is the jacket i scored that will go great with jeans
i upped the contrast and levels, so it's a little different in real life
best part about this baby is the orange price tag
that would indicate "sale"
holla!

also added to the scarf collection
because there is no such thing as
"too many scarfs"
or is it scarves?
whichever

i love nothing more in the world than
laken-sized chucks!
heck yes!
he is the coolest kid in daycare right now
bet your ass he is!!!

he even says "chucks"
loves 'em
and i couldn't be happier
i saw them and was giddy all the way up
to the cash register

laken has a violent temper
and a lack of patience
it concerns me
he gets frustrated at his toys
and kicks and screams
so we're working on take twos
or three's or four's
with patience
this was a quiet afternoon with the puzzles
if you ask him what a cat says ,
he says "NO!"
... got a little more work to do with him...

happy sunday y'all
i'm not ready for tomorrow
school starts up again in 8 days
15 hours this semester
buncha crap if you ask me...

Counting Carbs, Counting Numbers, Counting the Days...

2007-01-01T23:29:00.000-08:00

atkins day two
argh
breakfast was eggs
lunch was peanuts
dinner was salad

i can't be a fat ass anymore
just can't
i did atkins for over a year before
and i loved it
then i got knocked up

so i'm returning

and then....

i sent my camera off for repairs
that makes me smile
because i know it's going to be on its way to me again
soon, hopefully

no mail tomorrow
argh

It's the new year - and here are my goals

Be a better mom - i dunno if anyone is ever happy with their parenting - but i'm always going to strive for "better"

Not be a fat ass anymore

Surf less internet

now... look how cute:

how the hell did i lose $100 ????

2006-12-27T20:31:00.000-08:00

awwww

the holidays
it was all a blur
and not because i found a new appreciation for the Beam and coke...

but because they were fast
charlie brown ornaments rawk
the camera is still broken
but fondue pots are so exciting
Pursuit of Happyness...
not so happy
since when does fresh prince do tear jerkers?

over $100 of mine disappeared
a handful of days before C-Day
gifts were few
and in small size when they were

had to practice photographing bears in the studio
i'm not used to lighting
i hate flash
so bears it was

laken cleaned up on the holidays
i have pictures
four of them
i hate not having my camera

speaking of photography...
This girl will knock your effin socks off!
where this tree picture came from
i could surf photography websites all day
i really could
i aspire...
oh i aspire...

it's almost oh seven
and i'm oh so ready to be done with oh six
for
the
reals

because i'm bound and determined to have a better year

DAMMIT!

(but right now, my feet stink)

random bo-bandom

2006-12-18T17:27:00.000-08:00

so ... it's been a crazy weekend! i had five shows in four days. not to mention work.

The show is finally over. and i can breathe. and relax. and maybe find my bedroom floor!

i'm not ready for Next Monday
at. all.

Brynne came into town this weekend. those are always good times in the making. we went to a new club called "Le Chateau" They play all techno. i was standing there holding my cocktail, boppin' to the beat and this bouncer dude comes up and says "You can't drink on the dance floor." I just sat there really baffled because the whole club was a dance floor. i saw maybe four bar stools. so i just stood there.

nothing crazy to report about this weekend.

I am beginning to think my new job, which requires me to work until 7 everyday, isn't worth it. i never pick my son up from daycare anymore.

anyway...

Laken woke up this morning at 3:55
i wasn't happy
he stayed awake for a couple of hours
and then passed out

i however, stayed up and did this...

yay me!

have a good day!

wot? wot? BLIMEY!!!!

2006-12-15T23:22:00.000-08:00

i'm drunk and blogging
i needed tonight
in tjhe worst way psosibel
mainely becangues i've been sto stressed
and ebcause i can't spelll
i'm a light weight
i only had like the total of the neck of a smirnoff ice
and then i got woozy
and then a washing ton red appel
i'm told it's a shot

during intermission savannah and i ran across the street to a loval restauratt
that her family owns
a really upscale place
and we got some Jim bean in styrophoam
or is it styrofoam???
anyway...
we ran abck and were toy soldiers
made the second act soooooo mcuh better

i needed tonight
just to remind me that i'm human
and we all fuck up sometimes

and then we danced our asses off!

2006-12-12T18:10:00.000-08:00

sometimes being alive just is not worth it

Make WORK your favorite! ok!!!

2006-12-05T22:48:00.000-08:00

argh
i hate laundry with a passion
it never goes away

so i thought i would make this a picture loaded post
i won't be posting again for a while
boo hiss

since everyone is posting pics of their trees. here is mine. well, it's not MINE. it belongs to a friend. mine is too big to put in the house. so i had to put the teeny one up.

this ornament always makes me smile
i got this shortly after i had my Appendix out when pregnant
when i knew that laken was going to be my little fighter
a gift from my ex bosses
a pregnant snowchic
how sweet is that?

lately i've been sleeping alot here
and not in my bed
i need to desparetly get back in the swing of things. but right now it's hard. so i've been on the couch. either studying late. or just flat out passing out here. too exhausted to move all that laundry from the bed to the desk chair.

here's laken watching Elf for the gagillionth time this week. loves that movie.

He's doing much better. had to get a Steroid Shot and a breathing treatment at the ER to help the croup.

and guess what we got today?
running water!
yippee!
and a bath

i'm next
yes
130 am
and i'm gonna get in the shower
cause i have a final at 9
and work at 10-7
and work meeting at 7
and finals thursday to start studying for
and an art paper to write

at least Laken has all his ducks in a row....

there was more than one lobster at the Birth of Jesus Christ? DUH!

2006-12-03T11:03:00.000-08:00

just a wee bit random

Happy Birthday to my Bestest Friend ever... bRadley!
Happy Birthday to Barb!

"could you put her hands on her breast... and massage them, please"
"I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my toes..."

If you haven't seen Love, Actually... get to it.
because Love, Actually IS all around us.

best.line.ever

not to mention it has the two most gorgeous english men i know it in...

Firth and Grant. yummo!

Sorry i couldn't find a bigger photo for this. But good GOD this is an excellent documentary. i've watched it twice. It's on HBO right now. It's a documentation of several girls at a center for eating disorders. and just so great. Not because it's done so well. not because it's a punch in the stomach. but because it's done so weel. and because it's such a punch in the stomach. it really makes me want to research, volunteer, assist, run, whatever... whatever it is that you do when you are drawn to a cause. It used to just be Cancer. but now i feel the need to... DO SOMETHING.

i thought i'd start with the good this time.

Now, on the bad:

Monday - took laken to the hospital
Tuesday - ok. maybe tuesday wasn't so bad after all
Wednesday - MAJOR car issues
Thursday - lots of snow. school is cancelled. finals are missed. rescheduled for monday. ACK! puke after my Toy Soldier Dance scene in the play...
Friday - pipes freeze in house. BUST. flood the garage with about an inch of water.
Saturday - get call from terrific landlord that they can't be repaired until they thaw. which means i have no running water in the house until... The WEATHER GETS BETTER!
Sunday - no show. it's a free day. but i have tons of laundry to do. and no water to do it with.

i cried alot this week. because i'm sick of it. tired of life's one-two punch

tomorrow's monday. and i have full faith that this next week can absolutely get worse before it gets better. i haven't showered in two days. now THAT'S something, right????

CONSIDER THIS YOUR WARNING!!!!

2006-11-28T23:08:00.000-08:00

this week has started off promising.
Monday started off with needing to take laken to the doctor. only, his Doctor (a sorry excuse for a pediatrician) is on vacation until December 5th. Nobody should be allowed to take a two week vacation and close down their office. Keep your PA there or your nurse practitioner. The Doc that is covering for mine, conveniently doesn't accept Laken's insurance. So i call the urgent care centers, the nasty ass clinic, the medical school here, and finally, i'm told "you should probably take him to the ER." and that was my only option. So we sat in the ER for almost five hours. my child is super smart. he understands the situation. And!!!! he has croup. that's right. good ol' croup. the virus that has to run it's course. i'm so sick of hearing that. yeah. well... can it run it's course after xmas? i'll have time then.

humidifier. check
vicks vapor rub. check
pedialyte. check
guilty conscience because i can't really BE there. more than check.

now... onto the time sucker

ok ok ok
i know you've had enough with the Christmas Carol talk. but we're in dress rehearsal. it's fan friggin' tastic!!! my director rawks all the time. i want inspiration like that. tomorrow is final dress rehearsal. this show is moving. funny. scary. entertaining. tightly secured with black capri spandex. and full of christmas fun. tongue in cheek

i told you at the beginning of this post to consider this your warning. this my dear friends are SHEEP'S BRAIN!!!

and if you're not watching 3 lbs. on TV. do it. tivo, dvr, vhs. get it done!

anyway i got to play with brains today. and i only put this on here because i think everyone should be awarded this opportunity. honest. it's not only a learning experience. but something phenomenol in itself to know that you're holding the Control Panel for Kingdom Anamalia in your hands... It's very empowering.

.... and stinky

sheep have tiny brains. about a portion size worth of mashed potatoes. frogs brains is about the size of the tip of your pinky. no lie.

and ladies, men actually do have bigger brains than females. damnit! i don't even have a witty remark for that.

anyway...

enough of my rambling for the day!

only one thing could drag me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window!!!

2006-11-26T09:15:00.000-08:00

So I'm addressing a bit of something something.

The reason i protest word verification is because i feel as though if it takes me 45 seconds just to say something on your blog because i have to keep RE-entering the magic word... and because you'd rather put me and everyone else through THAT just so you don't have to hit DELETE when you get a spam comment... if you don't have time - neither do i. (i'm half serious, half sarcasm - but mostly serious)
You'll shoot your eye out
Thursday is the big day. and i'm starting to get sick. laken already has it. i'm worried. sounds very chest-y, his cough. i don't want to think pnuemonia. but i do. 'Tis the season to be sick...
I made Struessled Sweet Potato Casserole, two Cherries Jubilee Ice Cream Pies, and breaded and baked Zucchini Chips for Turkey Day. and i only brough home empty dishes. that makes me smile. and once again... Thank you Rachel Ray and Cooking Light Magazine. (speaking of... if Cooking Light recipe calls for low fat vanilla ice cream, and i rush out and buy Blue Bell Homeade Vanilla (full fat)... am i still cooking light??)
my son decided to grow up. I'm not liking it
finals this week. on top of everything else. i'm glad. glad to be done.
i miss my camera

BAH HUMBUG!!!!!

2006-11-21T22:00:00.000-08:00

Wed - work/rehearsal I'm booked 10am-11pm
thurs - turkey/stuffing/pumpkin pie/ two hour episode of Grey's - nuf said
Fri- work/ rehearsal I'm booked 10am-11pm
Saturday - work 10-2 and then again from 5-10 (have also scheduled some breathing...)
Sunday - church/lunch/Rehearsal

this sunday we start Hell Week!!! we'll be there sunday through saturday evening next week! That's 6 days! that's 24 hours of Christmas cheer.

BAH FRIGGIN HUMBUG!

i'm not a christmas person. my tree HAS been up for a week now. but only because i won't have time any time soon. better early than never.

The show opens 9 days from today! Choreographer added a whole new waltz today! ok. i'm not a dancer. in any way. shape. or. form. but. good news? my partner rawks the kasbah!

New job is FANTASTICAL-like! i am lurving it! 100% I am having a blast. i have to nix the high heels. and that makes me sad. i get to do sales presentations tomorrow? would you believe me if i told you i was a fast learner?

Rachel Ray is great. she won the Iron Chef competition last week. Giada who? I've cooked a couple of times this week. I feel like such a grown up.

now if i can just keep the city from shutting my water off every week........

Free at Last, i'm FREEEEEEEE at last!!! Thank God Almight I'm Free At Last!

2006-11-20T07:01:00.000-08:00

if you have a power outage. or a problem with your electic bill....

DON'T CALL ME !! There's not much i can do.

I am the new photographer at The Photo Store!!!

this place is phenomenol. we have a great outdoor studio complete with an old truck in it! and i'm so happy. so very happy!

Walked in Friday morning.
filled out an app
talked to a manager
came back for a second interview after lunch
met the owners
got the job

best part of the entire interview? "We encourgage you to have a little artistic liberty"

(... well, that and "We love to give bonuses here!")

Anyway - today's the first day!

hey, thanks!

2006-11-15T21:36:00.000-08:00

this has been a crap week

no pun intended. i got the plumbing fixed. its starting to smell better in the household. not by much though. rehearsals are sucking ass right now. the show opens in 15 days! argh! i wear leggings. i'm cool like that. apparently i'm a single mom in the play. but, i'm a rich woman. so that's nice. maybe i'm independently wealthy like miss Jimmy Choo! also wore fuzzy slippers to lunch at Basil Docks, a little pizzeria in town, and faked a choking scene in hopes that the FLY guy sitting next to us was a doctor and would give a little mouth to mouth. nope. he's a realtor. not that we conversed. but because eavesdropping is a great way to find out about the person you're semi-stalking at lunch.

i'm about to watch the finale of Dancing with the Stars. i'm on pins and needles.

and last but not least:

i got this from Elsie's blog:

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

how friggin' depressing is that?
this is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo true
if you don't believe me, just pull up any of my archives over to the right and have a looksee.
i'm going to die a tormented and miserable death.
BAH HUMBUG!

don't say i didn't tell you so

2006-11-14T06:15:00.000-08:00

Look who's a big boy now!!!
Laken upgraded his bed.
he likes it
no iss. whatsoever!
i don't believe in weening things like this
no toddler bed - just straight to the twin.
now i just need to get him some sheets
and down with Cars, Nemo, or any other cartoon
we're going with something else.
i can't make my house look like a Pottery Barn Catalog
if we're going to use Disney

In other news -
remember back on October 25th i had told you i had to call the plumber to come out because my house was smelling of a little funk deFunk? yeah. so i called their asses for a week straight and nothing. at first it was just the smell. the second week i could barely use the toilet. and the water was backed up in the tub. Not only did this piss me off, but it made it extremely difficult to bathe the child at night. can we say he had some serious musk going on??? He was getting a bath every two days - poor thing. I would have to take him to the aunt's or to the paternal units' home 20 miles outside of town. it was a pain!

so i call every day for OVER A WEEK. nothing. they finally come out last week after i told her i hadn't paid rent because they suck. they finally came out after i threatened to call the housing authority. Seriously, people would walk in the house and almost pass out from the stench! it was horrible! i can't even describe it. and this is how i lived for almost a month!!! and i kept calling. and it kept getting worse.

i know i'm a good story teller and all. and you know i'm an aspiring actress, Mr. Landlord. but when i tell you i would rather wear my son's dirty diaper over my face than have to smell whatever it is that's stewing in my pipes, i'm being serious. i'm not exaggerating. i think there is a SERIOUS problem.

so they come out. and what do they find? that one of the pipes under the house that goes out to the sewer has busted. what i smell is sewer gas. that i have a small lake under my house of said water. that everytime i flush the toilet, it all stays under the house. LOVELY. so he goes out to the back yard to the sewer line. releases the cap and it ..... BUSTS ...... all over the backyard. he's all worked up now. and then realizes that the sewer main is now broken and needs to be replaced. pressure build up's a bitch. so guess what's all over my backyard ?? yup. and then he comes in (as if nothing) and tells me not to put toilet paper in the toilet because whatever i put IN the toilet will wind up in my back yard until he gets it all fixed. I make a swooping motion with my hand over my stomach, "Everything??? As in Poo??" Nods yes. Mother F$%#$@!!!!
so there's a baggie of used toiley tiss. hanging on the bathroom door. it's official. I'm ghetto!

So, here's to you oh wise Landlord
Before you buy a property, send out an inspector so that you're not getting calls from a tenant everyday about crap in the house that's going wrong.

and when a tenant calls and says, I think i have a sewer issue. by golly - GO TO THE HOUSE NOW!!!! drop all that you are doing and get there. because had you come out on October 25th, when i initially called, you probably wouldn't have found a lake of sewage. you probably wouldn't have a busted sewer main. and you probably wouldn't be doing this to my backyard right now to replace it!!! you probably could've saved yourself over $3000 in repairs!!

... but then again. i'm just a lowly tennant. what do i know?

i've had it up to... HERE

2006-11-09T08:38:00.000-08:00

if you have that damn word verification on your blog
from
this
day
forward... i refuse to comment on your blog. i just spent 45 valuable seconds trying to figure out what the jumble of letters were. and mind you, when i finally did... they were not a WORD!

i scream horrible expletives (that my son will inevitably repeat to his teacher )EVERY time!!!
i never get it right on the first try!
and then when you hit the wheelchair (for the see-ing impaired - i can't rarely decipher the braille either. and that's ONLY IF the robotic voice feels like talking)

so... i'm protesting!

oh yeah - HI BRYNNE!!!

is it fixed yet?

2006-11-07T22:48:00.000-08:00

These are a few shots from a couple of years ago. You can see the rest of them HERE
some of you have already seen these. these are fairly unedited. good times. i went to the Burden Brothers concert and due to the size of my lens (teehee) i was able to climb on stage and get some really cool shots. 99% of event photography depends on me acting like i'm supposed to be there! Anyway, i miss my camera. so i'm paying tribute.

If you don't have any of their music, please get some now. Especially It's a Beautiful Night. It makes me smile. So does Dirty Sanchez.

Imaging USA is in January and i'm soooooo eager to go.

If you're bored (ahem, Jen) and like photography, i urge you to check out the following:

Christoper McLallen
Timothy Devine (interesting compositions here)
Kirk Edwards
and my new favorite Boutwell Studios

*************************************
things that proved the full moon today:

Texas is apparently not so Kinky
Plumbers came to the house and said "Wow! you got a sewage LAKE! under here"
Said plumbers found my Massengil (how's THAT for embarrasing)
Random truck in parking lot BACKFIRED on me!
Paternal Unit almost justified Rush Limbaugh's nasty comments about Michael J. Fox. Then continued to tell me that he didn't support stem cell research. GASP!

friggin' Conservative Republicans

Hideous Kinky

2006-11-05T17:24:00.000-08:00

i'm a registered voter. and it's sad that i know nothing about the reason we're holding an election in a couple of days. anyway, i know that my vote is going to Mr. Kinky Friedman because i love the heck outta his name. and because, as a thespian, i thoroughly enjoy his campaign poster being a rendition of Wicked.

gotta love texas. having a candidate for the governor's office that goes by the name of "kinky"

had Peach Cobbler this afternoon. after a nice brisket lunch. and then had a nap on the couch while watching Over the Hedge. Laken passed out on the floor. Having a toddler is the best thing in the world next to sliced cheese!

maybe even string cheese!

wtf, mate?!

2006-11-02T13:40:00.000-08:00

i ate a whole sandwich baggie of chocolate cookies after running on the treadmill for 45 minutes.

yeah
my
thoughts
exactly

sometimes i love myself

2006-11-01T01:01:00.000-08:00

i probably won't tomorrow
because it's 3am and i'm up
finding new hobbies
like movie making

i am working out the price lists
for the freelance gig
have so many ideas swimming in my head
it's nutso!

come january
$3000 worth of new camera stuff!
am so ready for this
can we say "fisheye lens"
???

anyway here is the movie i've been up making
shortly after i finished research on schizophrenia

perfect wind-down

that's my little cousin
she's not so little anymore
i used to change her diapers
now she's in college
and does my babysitting!

crazy little thing called life!

tomorrow i think i'm gonna get my hair did!
i need a pick me upper

and this time change has knocked my son's
sleeping schedule all out of whack
he's still tired at the same time
only it's an hour earlier

see... and at one point
i almost believed i was mental
for having such a hard time adjusting

happy humpday

i'm going to the gym to work on my fitness
love the f to the e.r.g. the i. the e.

she called me weird....

2006-10-29T17:34:00.001-08:00

just because i put dissections on here doesn't make me weird!

So Mrs. Skolnick said "go tell us why you're weird"
and most people already know that
so i guess i'll just share it again!

Weirdo Schmeirdo Chriselda...

1. i can light a lighter with my toes. seriously. i hold the lighter with one foot, and flick it on with the other. i would be a circus act if i could light a cigarette afterward!!!

2. i won't eat caramel. when i was a child my gramma was waxing her lip and had rolled it off and there it sat on the coffee table looking like a piece of caramel. i tossed it in my mouth and bit down and almost cracked a tooth. pulled it out of my mouth and saw little lip hairs poking out. brings tears to my eyes to this day!

3. i have a horrible memory. HORRIBLE. i can't remember what i ate for breakfast on most days. i see the Nutcracker every year and still can't remember the storyline.

4. When i was little i tried to remove a freckle on my leg (or are they called moles? it's one that's flush with the skin - doesn't protrude) by poking it with a needle and trying to squeeze it out. it only made it bigger

5. last night i asked Scott (the cyber love of my life, teehee!) what galaxy we lived in. and he said "The Milky Way" in a very quizzical, sarcastic, perhaps even concerned tone. And i said, "sorry, i'm no good with Geography!" ... and i'm really not.

I'm not going to tag anyone specific. in case you've already been tagged. if not, then ... TAG! YOU'RE IT!

BEWARE... this could get ugly!

2006-10-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

so... if you just ate lunch
or you don't want to see something gross
turn away from the blog now

here's my kitty
Mr. Bigglesworth
he's gross
and stinky
and an ex-Tabby cat
my lab partner was cool with doing the grunt work until today
then said "you're gonna have to do something"
so i had to cut some muscles and lift them up
and pin transparency labels to their respective muscles
favorite muscle name: transverse abdominus
it just has a nice ring to it.
and below you can see me cutting connective tissue away from the
rectus adominus...
November 13th, i get to check out the CADAVER!

have a great weekend everyone!
i have a good one planned
rehearsal, work, church, kid birthday party (ick - i hate kids)
and some downtime

after much consideration i decided to drop my calculus class
i just can't take it
and it stresses me out more than necessary
am also applying at a local photo studio for a position as a portrait photographer
fingers crossed

insert title here

2006-10-25T11:31:00.000-07:00

laken broke gums again! now has 8 teetharoo
he's so cute in the mornings brushing his teeth.
i sing him that "brusha brusha brusha" song from Grease.

i have decided to give my son permission to do and be whatever he wants. however... i NEVER once said he was allowed to grow up so quickly. it's hard to believe he's almost two. some of you can remember the days when i was bitching about being pregnant. crazy, huh?!

i never realized that i would have a passion for theatre. never once. and here i am... framed on a wall at the theatre. the first picture, in case you're wondering. I joined the Guild of the Amarillo Little Theatre and have spent a few weeks painting the set for our show Assassins that is running right now. and then i start working on the set for Christmas Carol. I'm also IN that production, in case you're new here! We just started the singing rehearsals and next week we start stage blocking. not to mention DANCE rehearsal is still going on. it's been crazy busy.

i was talking with Amber the other day and explained that everything i do is planned and scheduled these days. Even phone calls! I had to call the landlord about my pipes being backed up. it's been scheduled for this morning. CHECK!

with school, two jobs, mommyhood, volunteering at the United Way, rehearsals, and painting - i've become so busy that i don't have time to do the little things that i need to do.

angie - this has been sitting on my table forever.
it's yours
and i suck
it's over a month old
maybe it'll be a xmas gift???
this needs to go out
and it will soon!

if you recently had a birthday.
your card is in here.
Amber - your's is obviously the one with the 30 on it.
it says "who gave you permission to turn 30?"
my little triple x scraplebrity!
i love our chats
and you
and i think you're cooler than a RED nano!

i have a calculus midterm tomorrow.
pyschology as well
art appreciation essay reviewing Uncontrol
you should check it out. most of them just follow your mouse. others you can drag the points. just simple use of LINE that blows me away!
cat dissections started yesterday
we named our naked cat Mr. Bigglesworth
teehee
rehearsal tonight
not to mention the television i watch

i feel a major need to Priortize things in my life
but right now...
right now i'm enjoying the insanity here...

you know... when i was younger...

2006-10-19T20:42:00.000-07:00

i am absolutely appalled by the things young girls wear these days!
jessica and i were talking on the phone the other day about it
and how little girls are hoochies nowadays

C: i mean... they're just hoochies
J: that's why i never want to have a daughter
C: no kidding
J: yup
C: i mean... WE were hoochies but we didn't DRESS like hoochies...
J: i know! we were undercover hoochies!

bwahahahaa!
happy Friday!

blinking through the tears

2006-10-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

this right here is excellent!
i saw it
and cried
and then cried some more!

it just SPEAKS
in a world so obsessed with looks
and weight
and size
and color
and height
and appearance
and fat

... it just reminds me that we our basing everything off a false reality
and it's sad that we can't break from it
no matter how hard we try

but it's engrained in our genetics to always compare
so how in the world did marketing strategies manage to monopolize our self esteems
???

so yeah, dove!
i'm in on your campaign for REAL BEAUTY!
and thank you

it wasn't my intention to mislead you... it never should have been this way. what can i say?

2006-10-17T00:22:00.000-07:00

i put a cardigan over my grey and red striped shirt
paired with grey sweat shorts
and slipped on my fuzzy house shoes

went to Blockbuster to rent this:
please watch the trailer HERE!!!!
it's a little peak into the show i'm doing!
so exciting!
i have so many visions

i'm a toy soldier!
and we all fall down... like toy soldiers

so i see my friend josh (who plays Tiny Tim's dad) there filling out an application for a membership. and i run up from behind him. wrap my arms around his waist and say "you have a dance solooooooooooooo" all while shaking my boobs all over him. he turns around and looks at me and says "i'm sorry?"

gawd! i totally felt up a complete stranger!!! it was so embarrasing. i apologized profusely and ran away. as quickly as possible without my feet slipping out of my fuzzy slippers!

Yelled at the daycare teacher today.
the last week i've picked my child up and he's had dried up boogers on his face.
i made it a point to clean his face and say "mommy doesn't like it when your face is dirty" in front of her. today - i walk in and he has SPIT hanging on the back of his head. the teacher giggles and said one of the kids must have slobbered on him. i am frustrated at this point. top it all off - my son has a dirty face again.
so i say "i don't want to be rude, but can you keep his face clean?"
"he has a runny nose"
"yeah i know. but these are dry and crusty boogers CAKED on his face"
"i cleaned his nose when i changed his diaper"
"so you only clean it once an hour????"
.....silence....
"i get really aggravated when i pick him up and he has a dirty face. i didn't bring him in here dirty. i don't want him to be dirty when i come get him."
"I'll keep it clean" (insert snippy attitude)
"i need to sign him out"
(holds clipboard) "i'll do it!"
"ok!"
and i walk out. seriously. am i asking too much?? i'm so passive agressive. i've spent the last week and a half hinting to her. and i had a bad monday at work. and combine a little misplaced anger and a booger crusted face.... and you get screamed at, lady!

all i'm asking is that when my son's facial orifices leak a bodily fluid/mucus that you clean it off. i can't keep my son from getting sick if you let him and ten other children walk around with boogers on their faces and hands. not to mention slobber on the back of his head.

now i'm afraid she's going to treat laken differently

i should've strangle her with my long armpit hair!

anyway
it's 2 am
i can't sleep
this is the second night in a row

week full of midterms and dance rehearsals starts tomorrow
verdict on the camera repair = $250
anyone want to take up a love offering?

Wacky Wednesday

2006-10-11T16:26:00.000-07:00

in honor of Scott's "Freaky Friday" questions...
i decided to ask a Wacky Wednesday one. here goes.

i was in the shower the other morning and was shaving my pits
(i may not shave my legs every time i shower, but the pit hair - the pit hair has to go!!!!)
and there are three stubborn little hairs that will not go away!
no matter which way i turn the razor, i just can't cut those bitches down!

so - please tell me i'm not the only one
and if you have the same problem, what do you do?
do you get out your cutter bees and snip it at the shaft?
or do you tweeze those bad boys?

personally, i just let them grow until i can wrap it around my finger a couple of times and yank it out like a string on a pair of socks.

(kidding)

this is just something i want to know.
thanks in advance!

le sigh

2006-10-08T07:12:00.000-07:00

my camera broke
my Digital rebel broke!

i was painting at the theatre for the set of Assassins
having a grand old time
decided it was time to take a few photos
tried to get pictures of our "brick layer"
in burst mode (several shots with one pressing of the shutter release)
the first three came out
the last one didn't

so i come home
not really upset because i thought it was a low battery issue
nope
i take the lens off
and see that the spring for my mirror is just hanging there
i don't even wanna know how much this is going to cost
and C'MON!!!!!!
i was just starting to feel better about life
and the shit that comes along with it

i am taking it to the local camera shop
they fixed it last time
and then i'm crossing my fingers
i have an icky feeling that it has to go to Canon though
and that - THAT makes me really sad

to top things off (literally)
i woke up with a fever blister on my lip
oral herpes. i have herpes! bwahahaha
geez.us.
i'm off to the store sans make up
and with a huge mess of bed head
to get some acidophilus
l-lysine
yogurt
and camphophenique
i swear to you - this combination will stop a cold sore dead in it's tracks
that's right - take THAT bitches!

watch out broadway!

2006-10-05T00:37:00.000-07:00

rehearsals started for Christmas Carol. we are dancing fools. i am so sore today. from WALTZING! let me just say: never underestimate dance. it's a workout and a half.

we danced for 3 hours straight Tuesday night. and Two hours last night! straight through. it doesn't end. it just keeps on going. at the end of the night, our feet hurt, we all smell, our sleeves are rolled up, makeup is non-existant, the men are sticky and sweaty, our legs are killing us. or maybe it's just me.

anyway - i absolutely love this photo. they aren't my feet. but these are my favorite character shoes of the bunch. i have the plain beige ones you see up front. last night i wore jazz shoes.
i did dance a few years ago. ballet. jazz. i did tap as a child. but nothing would ever prepare me for the grueling wear that is Waltzing and Polka. but, i'm excited. and ready. and pleased that this will inevitably help me shed a few pounds.

and this is a photoshoot from this afternoon.
beautiful baby boy.
ridiculously difficult shoot
i took about 200 photos
got about six that i like. then it was time for a bottle. there will be a round two,
babies are so difficult. especially at two months old. i got a coo here and a coo there. but still - so hard to work with. not to mention that my own little rugrat was at the shoot with me. apparently terrified of the pumpkins. trying to run out into the street. i felt i had to buy some pumpkins just as a "thanks" for allowing us to take the photos. paid $5 for four pumpkins. i can't believe it's trick o treat season.

is it too early to think of christmas?
here's the final word on my santa clause debate:

i couldn't decide if i wanted to let laken believe in Santa. i didn't as a child.
truth. i think about it too much. i'm a thinker
i'm over analytical
what if the kiddo is the same?
what if he says "why did you make me believe in something/one that isn't real"
what if he asks, "what else isn't real? is God real?"
ya yaaaaa. i know you're laughing
but seriously, i didn't believe as a child so i don't know what situation might arise
anyway - i decided on this:

Laken will be told about Santa.
will be told about a kind man that may or may not have existed.
that he brought children gifts
i'll tell him that he can believe in the goodness in people
and that we will go sit on his lap at the mall to honor the good

there.
i'm done
weird.
but done!

so... i was thinking i should be random

2006-10-03T07:40:00.000-07:00

ok. if you haven't seen Grey's Anatomy for this past week and you plan on doing that.. don't watch this... otherwise - drool you're merry heart out.

good lord. heLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Mc. Steamy!!!!
i love how he comes out and you can see the glorious hip bone.
anyway - enjoy

conversations like this crack me up:

Laken is learning how to flip over. he bends over and puts his head on the floor. and that's about it. he stops there. so figured i'd help him. i put my head on the floor. and then got stuck. jessica's sitting on the couch watching the whole thing

J: just roll over
C: i can't
J: why?
C: i'm scared
J: why?! it's not like you're doing a carthweel or anything!
C: are you afraid to do cartwheels?
silence for about 3 seconds....
J: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
C: liar!

bwahahahaha
maybe you had to be there?!?!?!?!

tatatataDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

2006-10-01T00:52:00.000-07:00

whoa picture loaded post!

ok. so i saved most of the wedding photos that i took in july and am just now finishing editing. this was a tough cookie. the lighting is horrible. and i almost don't want to put them on the web. i took over 200 shots. (easy) and i guess i lost alot of them before the "crash" of the computer. these are the ones i've managed to save and edit. but... i'm still not happy with them. maybe next time!
i'll preface this by saying i'm not a professional. this is a friend of mine that i work with. she let me sneak in just for practice's sake and get a few shots in. She had a paid, professional photographer so i sat at the back of the church and whatnot. there were a few good ones that i got. but after about 200 photos hit the drawing room floor due to bad lighting... i decided i had to use SOME of them. i even sent them to sassy miss Amby and we were both like, "arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!" (and that's the nice version!)

so - i sat down tonight while on the phone with brandy. and let 'er rip.

you can see the rest of these here. The pword is "forever." i put it on there for the photosite community. but i trust you peeps! even though i think they're crap shots - i'm sharing. see, kindergarten morals rear their ugly heads again...

and here is the photo session of miss jessica. such a good sport. not really comfortable in front of the camera. but then again, not many people are. loved working with her THIS much! you can see the rest of these HERE

jessica has to have the best eyes ever.
so i played around a bit with contrasts.
and voila!
i feel like the rest of her is in a nightie and high heels on a big poster for the war or something...

holy cow your eyes are GAWGEOUS!

my third roommate, Jamie (i've had seven!) got married last week in Lake Tahoe. her reception was tonight. we got there fashionably late and didn't really get much time with her. but i snapped these few shots. she's such a sweetheart. probably the most genuinely nice person i know, i wish you all the best honey! MUAH!

ok. i'm done. it's 530 am. my carpals hurt from holding a mouse all night. hope you enjoyed the photos! i have church and lunch with my Maternal Unit tomorrow. wooot!

ya dumb dummies

2006-09-29T07:44:00.000-07:00

(that's from My Name is Earl)

this is me happy today!
i got a new computer the other day.
i'm LOVIN' it!!!
it's an HP.

I got two singing parts in Christmas Carol
i'll be a rich woman
and a Salvation Army Folk
our budget for this show was over $25,000!
i'm so excited

so i was able to get a few photos edited. this is my most favorite subject to use. she is extremely photographic. and has such a great contrast. You can see the rest of the photos here

now. i'm off to work.
going to watch Steel Magnolias (the play) at Amarillo Little Theatre
you can find out alot of information from the website
love this community
everyone there makes for a really nice FRIE-MILY

awwww shucks

2006-09-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

first off, THANKS to the birthday wishes and goodies over at the peas place! loved it all.

second. still working on school computers. i actually sent the specs for my new computer this morning. woooot! so maybe i'll be running by next week. i guess i should've cancelled my internet services for a month since it's been THAT long.

oh well.

Inquiring minds wanna know:

The birthday girl washed laundry (and lots of it). i even put it away!
i spent the day watching 40 Year Old Virgin and Mr and Mrs Smith on HBO sporadically
on the actual "day" i went to church
then my super sweet auntie cooked me a special lunch of pot roast, tortellini salad, and pineapple upside down cake. There were no candles due to the fire hazard they threaten.
Had a nap (which was interrupted by a million and one phone calls)
put together a new kitchen table (can we say "i'm bringin' SCRAPPIN' back????")
and then watched 40 Year Old Virgin again...
bwahahaha
loved it! i took the whole weekend off. off from EVERYTHING
no work. no crap. no stores. no shopping. i was just at home. nice

laken (and jessica) got me this "Mother's Love Ring"
i love this thing!

the night before laken was sick and i had plans to go out.
and i don't deserve points for saying this - but i stayed home
and it was just natural. and what i was. WHERE i was.
so this ring is just perfect. thank you a ton of times over Jessica!
i love you long time!

tried to watch Donnie Darko last night. my friend amy gave it to me since it has my man Jake Gyllenhaal in it. not to mention his sister, Maggie, which i think is super hot and talented. (but mostly hot) I got through about ten minutes, saw the ghost/alien/boogie man thing and decided i should sleep instead. must watch in daylight hours.

Auditioned for Christmas Carol (musical) at the Amarillo Little Theater last night. i find out Thursday at noon. the part i wanted was Emily - young Scrooge's girlfriend. she has about two minutes in the show. i want it! but i get there. and find out she's 18. bwahahaha. ummmm clearly, i'm NOT 18. maybe i'll get another part.

alright. off to class. and to prepare for a test over the 206 bones in the body.

geez.us. all i want to do is cut people open for the rest of my life. do i really need to know all of this stuff????

waiting to exhale...

2006-09-18T21:35:00.000-07:00

a month ago i said i'd be breathing by now
and i just want to know what i did to piss of the karma gods
i stared up at the sky the other day and threw my hands up in defeat
it's a total nightmare to wake up every.single.day and just wish you didn't have to. and it sucks because i have a child and i shouldn't be thinking that way. i called amber. needed to hear a single mommy's head. i needed to know that it's not crazy to want to throw in the towel. it's ok to want to give it all up and not DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE. i'm sure parents in general deal with this. but the emotional strain of this thing i do is so tiring. and i needed to know that i'm not crazy for being crazy and having crazy thoughts...

then there's the rest of it. if i could get all the other shit in my life straight. this wouldn't be such a big deal. so i finally get to a point where i think, "hey, things are starting to look up..."

remember that check engine light? it went off. left me alone. and then i have a bit of money i think it will be nice to put back in savings and let stew. so i'm at the Smoothie place waiting in the drive thru when my CAR EXPLODES!!!! no lie. there were no flames. we're all ok. my radiator just blew. and all this steam starts oozing out of the car. and there's anitfreeze everywhere. i hate my life!!!

and i just can't take it anymore. i am so sick of drowning in the wading pool of life. sick of it. sick of not having money to pay a bill when it's due. sick of having to push things around. sick of only going grocery shopping when my kid is at daycare because i don't want to see a family. a dad loading the kids in the car while mommy gets the bags.

and maybe you're skimming through this thinking it's a little pity party. and maybe it is. but i'll tell you what... it sure as hell isn't any fun. i won't be inviting anyone to it. sometimes i just want to die.

sometimes i hate life
sometimes i want to go to sleep and not wake up
sometimes i think i have regrets
sometimes i wish i believed in the good
sometimes i want to slap people when the tell me "it'll be ok..."
cause if it's not one thing with me... it's definitely another

and then i see laken. and those sometimes are gone.
so here i sit.
going through everyday motions just trying to stay alive
just waiting to die
just hoping that i get my son through it the best i can today
if i go down fighting... at least he knows i fought.

no matter who is in your "corner"
truth of the matter is... you're the only one wearing the gloves
you're the only one walking away from the rink with a battered face

broken spirit
spinning head

is this belt really worth it all?
is laken going to see me take hit after hit and just sit back in confusion?

argh
i'm just waiting, people!!!
i'm waiting to fucking exhale!!!!

(p.s. i've disabled comments for this post. don't want to hear the gush. i'm dealing. and there's not really a clear tone in this medium of communication. i'm really just wanting to vent. not asking for pity or blah blahbity blah comments. no offense. )

it's mid september?!

2006-09-15T06:23:00.000-07:00

where did my month go?

ok... first off. i owe a few of you some things....

first off, ANGIE! happy birthday (again) girl. your embellies go out this weekend! Thanks barb for organizing it! i've been so out of it lately. i'm sorry i suck at life and your goodies are late.

Brandy - your RAK goes out for guessing Pretty Woman

Greta (Great) - i swear to you your birthday stuff (which i've been hoarding for almost a year) goes out tomorrow too! along with that Nanny Diaries book!

i also promise to pull out my scrapbook stuff this weekend and catch up on the gagillion cjs that i have and am holding hostage.

************************
this time of year always gets me down. (more than the rest of the year)
someone told me whatever it is you're doing on New Year's Eve when 12 o'clock rolls around is what you'll be doing the rest of the year. i was sitting on my bed crying. and YUP that has been the gist of my year thus far. and not because anything major is wrong. but just because i've had heightened sensitivity this year to stress, life, etc. maybe this is everyone and i should stop throwing my pity party. but this year it just seems to be one thing after another and even though things start looking up, a Check Engine Soon light comes on and immediately throws me into a panic. Just the IDEA that something else is lurking beyond my control and has the potential to turn my hair gray and break my face out and result in LOTS of comfort eating... frankly pisses me off! i spend 24/7 feeling "defeated" and that is just depressing. i'm not going to sit here and tell you i'm going to get better because i'm not into making promises i can't keep but i am going to tell you that i am STILL FIGHTING and it's gonna take a lot more than a Trojan Horse Virus x 67 to take me down...

i'm might be barely breathing, but i'm not dead ...

2006-09-11T20:23:00.000-07:00

hey dummies! not much going on.
trying to figure out the whole school/work/mommyhood/life issues

haven't looked at my scrap stuff in over a month
have no desire whatsoever to even pull it out

been taking a lot of pictures
but i have no computer
mine died.
she had enough of the abuse and kicked the bucket
currently i'm at the parental units' home...
using their new highspeed
doin' some calculus homework

here is a pic to tide you over... laken and his silly faces. this is his new one. he's pouting because i'm making him take pictures in the tub with a faux hawk.

not happy about it. but i sure thought it was cute.

not much to say...

2006-08-30T18:05:00.000-07:00

everyone shits sitting down
end of update!

have a happy humpday
i'm off to watch Project Runway and get my Laguna Beach groove on

WARNING: Bitching and Moaning Included!

2006-08-24T16:22:00.000-07:00

i'm a bad blogger
my life is really hectic right now

started school today.
calculus. human anatomy and physiology. child psychology. art appreciation
at least i'll get ONE A

house is still a wreck.
never packed. so there's no unpacking to do
there's just shit everywhere
the oven doesn't work
so microwaved foods and take out containers are EVERYWHERE
i tripped over my laptop power cord and the laptop went FLYING across the living room.
it's broken.
then i got about a gagillion (that's a technical term, thankyou) trojan viruses on my computer
have to go buy a spindle of cds to back everything up so i can reformat the hard drive
for you non-computer people, that means "wipe it clean and start all over"
which sucks
the washer machine electrical outlet for the house is wired wrong
long story short - i sent 120 volts of electric current through my arm the other day when pulling out wet clothes. nice
Alison got kicked off of Project Runway
Entourage ends next Monday
i almost got fired from my job
but brutal honesty ("i was two hours late because i just didn't want to get out of bed") saved the day!!!
my books this semester are going to cost me a total of $500+ dollars!
that's just the books. no lab accessories.
i found out i have to dissect a cat in my A&P class
i am seriously considering telling her i'm a Vegan.
i mean, i hate cats, but something about raising them to kill and cut them open seems wrong!
on the upside, there are also a few human cadavers that we will get to play with too!!!
now THAT i'm excited about
i ran out of dr. pepper
and i just ate sour cream enchiladas (sounds made up when you say it out loud)
and just realized i'm lactose intolerant.

on the up and up...
i was driving down the street the other night
and as i passed a Dairy Queen, i decided on a name for the freelance photo biz
"Approaching Infinity"
it's a calculus term for limits
i'm a nerd
but i love it
i'm working on the portfolio
had a two hour photo shoot last week
it rained
but it was fun
i'll post some pics when i'm done editing them
(and those damn wedding pictures too...)
ok
i'm done bitching

new things...

2006-08-17T17:33:00.000-07:00

sooooo
i changed the template on my blog
good times.

however, for you Mozilla Firefox users, you can't see it. so switch back to IE if you wanna look at it. it's pretty groovy stuff! i don't like the bandwidth though, so i'll eventually change it back.

anywho
still putting things away so i gotta jet!
not to mention i haven't watched my Project Runway for the week!

You're my Girl K!!!!

2006-08-16T16:20:00.000-07:00

first off, let me say that Laken wore Camo in honor of Klala's Day, today.

i got the cable and internet on Monday. i've been in HogHeaven ever since. funny thing is, i spend more time uploading photos and editing them. i shot a wedding a month ago. a MONTH!!! and still haven't finished them. i hate weddings. don't get me wrong... i love the event. but playing with wedding photos sucks. there is no color. the three colors i get to play with are White, Yellow (from the gagillion candles at the altar), and Red from the bouquets. nothing else. no greens. no blues. nothing. saturation is a bore. playing with levels blows.

anyway, last week i took back my Scott Kelby book and read it cover to cover in one night and voila! Photoshop here i come! i'm loving it! so here are few shots i have played with.

in an effort to be more energy efficient and refrain from using the AC in our house, laken and i walk around naked all day to stay cool. rain is a plus.

laken has a thing for not looking at the camera. no matter how many times i say his name... he just doesn't do it. everynow and then i catch him. and i mean my shutter speed is set to lightening.

i love this fence right beside my house. as soon as i saw it, i thought "LURVE it!!!" and i want everyone to sit in front of it. it's so pretty. (i know, i'm weird)

see... signs of stubborness to come!

i adore this photo. he was clapping. the train track is right behind our house. and while i've always had a fascination with them, i am loathing it right now. a train comes by every five minutes. laken is afraid of them so i open the back door (aka - the track) and let him point and clap as they go by in an effort to make it not so frightening. and we say "oooooh choo chooooo" while we were outside, a train went by and he had pointed and said something along the lines of "caca" (which means poop) and started clapping. and i love it.

anyway, i need to get back to unpacking. and i think i might watch 30 minute meals so i can make dinner tomorrow!!

MUAH!

eight things...

2006-08-10T10:42:00.000-07:00

1. physics is over
2. moving begins today (so does packing...)
3. i prioritized and nixed the Dare contest
4. i won't have internet until monday
5. i love alisonpea because she apologizes because i'm getting older
6. i finally got a chit chat with Amber - i can't believe this is just now happening...
7. i have a million and one errands to run today - but first, i have to stop for a Dr. Pepper
8. i didn't get the B in physics... or an A (but thanks for wishin' on it...)

- this time next week, i will be breathing again. i won't be suffocated. might not be where i was hoping to be. but i'll be breathing. and that, my friends, is all i need right now.

just updating cause i have to

2006-08-07T10:56:00.000-07:00

my life sucks right now

lemme sum it up

work. school. moving. laundry

i sold some furniture this past weekend because the new place is the size of the Blue Banana which can fit into the bathroom at a famous Beverly Hills Hotel. tell me what Movie i'm quoting and i'll send you a little sumfin sumfin. (not to mention, i'll begin to think we're soulmates and share the same brain... and love for movies)

anyway, this is my desk at the electric company. a job that threw me a curveball last night and may soon become a thing of the past. truth is. i hate my job. hate what i do. hate talking to people about bills they can't afford. wish i could tell some of them that they shouldn't be so worried about the $2ooo fish they own - dying because their electricity got shut off for non-payment. priorities people.

i wish i could tell people to eff off sometimes. i know i'm just a customer service rep. and i can wear shorts, flip flops, a t-shirt and no make up to work everyday. but back off a bit buddy. i don't make the rules. our company doesn't make the rules. the public utilities commision does. and if i have to hear one more person ask me for a refund on the money they're paying for electricity while they are experiencing a power outage...

YOU HAVE NO ELECTRICITY YOUR METER IS NOT MOVING. YOU ARE NOT BEING CHARGED!!!

wow, this has turned into a work rant. not my intentions. so here's the deal.

i have no internet. i'm moving this week. i'm stressed about missing Project Runway this week. pissed about the finale of The Hills last week. relieved that i have FOUR DAYS LEFT OF PHYSICS II! and that i might pull off a B. "might" people... "might"

and just for giggles, why do we say "mighnt" ??? always wanted to know!

you know who you are...

2006-08-01T06:56:00.000-07:00

i'm just putting this out here on the world wide web
because truth is...
i've been thinking about you alot
more than i like to admit
and not because i entertain any ideas
but because you as a person mean so much to me
and when i tell you i love you
it's because i want you to understand
that i deeply adore you as a person
as a mind
soul
and i want you to hang on to that part of yourself
and when you feel alone or lonely or isolated...
please know that you're not
and when you call
i'm happy
because i know that you know i'm here
and i am
all the time
from here on out
you're loved
thought about
cared for
worried about...
and i'm not the only one
please understand how much we love in you
and believe it...

ummmmmm

2006-07-30T07:08:00.000-07:00

i went to class on thursday at 730 a.m.
had a physics worksheet to pick up and complete
took all of five minutes
lecture starts at 945 so i basically had two hours to burn
two hours!!!!!!
what's a girl to do?
i went back to my car and passed out
about 830 i realize it's getting hot and i'm sweating so i turn the car on and let the AC run. and fall asleep again. at 915, i'm awakened by someone tapping on my window. i open my eyes and there stands a police officer! ok. i'm not too fond of cops. they always want to take me to jail. so i FREAK out. he asks me to get out of the car. and i do. i'm standing there, my leg is asleep, i'm disoriented, probably still asleep too. and this girl runs around the car and starts heading toward me with her arms extended, "are you okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay?!"
"yes"
"i was so worried about you. you were asleep in your car, with the engine running!"
(i look around and notice there are TWO cop cars behind mine. and another police officer holding a jimmy trying to get her car unlocked)
"yeah, i'm fine"
"i was so worried that i locked my keys in my car. i was startled"

i just stand there for a bit. trying to digest everything. and then the police officer looks at me. it's 9am, i'm sweaty, stinking, have no make up on, tshirt and shorts, and i just got caught sleeping in my car. "do you have a place to stay? where do you live?"
"i live in amarillo"
"ok. so... in a house? or apartment"
"ummmmm. a house???" (i answered him with a question! i hope "house" was the right answer. ummm... Why is this cop asking me stupid questions for 500 please)

and then he proceeds to ask me questions about my major. my class schedule. and i inform him that i had a five minute lab and two hours to kill before lecture so i came to sleep in the car. and then he asks if i'm "ok" and over and over asks if i "live in amarillo" with an emphasis on LIVE.

i say yes numerous times and then he says ok. and psycho girl that couldn't mind her own business is just sitting there staring at me. and then they both walk off. she turns around and says "i was just so worried about you."

i get back in my car. and start replaying things in my head. i look around and notice my surroundings.

Laken just got a pillow from my mom as a gift because he LOVES pillows. so it was in the car.
My cousin Lucy just gave me a bag full of clothes her son had outgrown. my front seat has two cups in the holder from Olive Garden. my purse, makeup bag, perfume, deodorant, and saline solution (for after the nap) are all lying in the front seat. i take a blanket to work every day to lay across my lap because it's flippin' cold in the offices. and i realize: HE THOUGHT I WAS HOMELESS!!!! i was sleeping in my car, with a pillow and a blanket. and everything but the bathroom sink on my passenger's seat, and a bag (trash bag) full of clothes in the back seat. no wonder he kept asking me if i lived in amarillo.

so that was my day. homeless. he thought i was homeless....

(this is "Things that only happen to me #932)

thank you.
and i'm not homeless

photography- it's a family affair

2006-07-26T22:40:00.000-07:00

let me first start off by saying you can kiss your blogger photo upload ish (issue) buh-bye.
scott let me in on a tip and i MUST share it.
Download firefox/mozilla
when you come to upload on blogger, use that as your server. VOILA!

ok... now that i've done my good deed for the day...

on to the post - my mom took these pics of Laken while on their vacation to Pennsylvania. see... photography runs in the family. my mom certainly has an eye. my son definitely has the face. and i definitely love photoshop.
thanks brandi for your tippers!
this is before the hair cut!

more pics of laken in the pool... seriously. this kid is a fish.

the aftermath. my son. totally loved his hair. laughed for minutes afterward. it's all funny now. laken's hair grows like he's using Rogaine. it's getting so long already.

anyway... that's my update. it's either a picture loaded one or i could start talking about lightening and resonance...

your choice!

people... wake up and smell the homeless!

2006-07-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

so i've been uber busy this week. on top of school and work, i volunteer at the United Way. this is normal. i used to do it every monday at the hospital but i've been slackin' on the "free work" thing.

when my son left on july 6th, he was a little chubby cheeked little baby boy with a mountain of soft curls on his head. when he came back he was a little BOY that can drink from a straw, hold his finger up to tell me he's "ONE," is learning how to kick a soccer ball, is trying to feed himself with silverware, is running much better, talking tons more, understanding commands... but most of all... they brought back to me a little boy with a HORRIBLE buzz cut. My military/fireman father decided he needed a REAL HAIRCUT and not this "girly stuff" and took the clippers to Laken's head.

i guess he bit off more than he could chew because his haircut looked like he had placed a bowl over his head and just shaved the rest off. it was so ugly. When i walked through the door to pick him up when they got into town, we both stood in the doorway staring at each other like, "who the heck are you?" there stood my son - the one with the milky complexion and great "uncle jessie" type hair - with this hairpiece, Three Stooges 'do and chocolate brown skin. he is BEYOND tan. he's a little peice of cocoa.

so i just stood there in shock. it honestly took me a few seconds to accept/believe that he was my son.

there's the gawd-awful haircut that i yelled about for a little bit and told my dad he's no longer allowed to come near my son's hair with anything sharp and/or designed to remove hair from the scalp. First things first - we drove into town to the Barber's shop. This is a family friend of ours that has been cutting my dad and brother's hair for.ev.er. He fixed it as much as he could but Laken apparently like his buzzcut that "Popo" gave him and cried the entire time. We "fixed" it as much as we could. When we asked for our fee, he said "oh no! i'm putting this on your Dad's tab!" and then said "i sure do hope bill doesn't fight fires the way he cuts hair. if so, i hope my house is never on fire..."

Laken and i have spent the last couple of days readjusting to each other. it's been tough. he's a whole new kid. and even though i talked to my mom everyday, i still missed so much. i am adjusting to his temperment, moods, communication, and flat out trying not to kiss him every second of the day. I cried. it's hard on me to not see him for two weeks and then see him and he refuses to let me touch him for about two hours. but, truth? i expected it. i was a Psych major for a little over two years and knew that this age is very crucial for relationships/bonding. Out of sight - out of mind. But he's coming around. and so am i.

anyway - more studying to do. test on monday! i haven't fallen off the bloggin' world. just been extremely busy and trying to stay centered and focused.

sounds made up, eh?!

good times. good times.

2006-07-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

it just really never is safe.

this is brynne
this is my finger almost going in her nose
i know she'll hate me for this.

anyway... good times. she came to town to keep me company during my "off time" and we went dancing. or not dancing.

The highlights in a nutshell? in a language you will not understand but one that should very well point out the neurosis involved:

the lounge for a drink
club for dancing
platforms and too many people = never a good combination
two grown men fighting right in front of us - brynne almost being under all of it
chriselda wearing all of our drinks due to fight eruption
why aren't you dancing? i'm not drunk. can we get her a shot please? two shots!!!
gay men. and LOTS of them
brynne, taste my lip gloss! (OMG!)
laying in the stars and looking at the grass
neck bruises. "or is it a hickie? was someone sucking on my neck?"
shopping at petsmart
"look those fish are making out!" (said when i saw a fish and it's reflection)
feeding snakes
random outbursts and chriselda moments at olive garden during lunch
"these plants have splotches"
"brynne sleep on the bed
you KNOW that's why you're putting the sheets on it... hooker
you HAVE to sleep on the bed!"
my boogers hurt
"yes. naughty please"
boney vertical smiles
go brush your teeth and get him out of your mouth!
omg! he farted in his sleep! i thought i should fart just so he wouldn't feel bad...
i love you but you have to go home soon

gawd i love it when you come to town. even though it's never safe

now for the pics!

about two weeks ago i jinxed myself with blogger and the whole "upload photos" situation. i told scott "i never have problems with it" and now look... it says "that's enough, c!"

maybe i'll get around to posting more. maybe not.

two more days and laken's back.

... now back to those entertaining physics notes/homework

facing the digital demons, surprise mail, and just overall appreciation

2006-07-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

well, i have to say it folks. i'm depressed. and i'm not trying to flag your attention. i'm fine. i kind of like it here. because it really makes me evaluate my situations and this is a VERY PRODUCTIVE time for me. so don't feel as though you have to gush about how much you hope i get better... because this is how i get better!!!

I want to put this out there. i don't remember where i heard it but it has stuck with me since. "depression is a very natural and healthy way to react to something overwhelming in your life"

just own it. don't let it own you. i'm sad and blah these days due to everything... school, life, all this assistance i'm trying to get and realizing i'm DEPENDENT, child support battles, work, and most of all - missing the one thing in my life that holds my little frazzled pieces together on a daily basis. My life is not falling apart. I am not falling apart. I am just very well aware of how hard it is for me to keep it all together. and i appreciate that is still together. and this is just my way of holding on to that. re-evaluating my game plan. cool??

Lately, i've been receiving emails of people concerned that i'm drifting off. Not the case. but thank you so much for taking the time to care. It means the world to me. Thanks to angie who sent me a little email telling me "come on! get with it. you're a fighter" and i saw that and thought here's one rowdy bitch just keeping me going. and i love you! Greta tells me "suck it up. dry the tears" and while she did it to be funny, Greta you are just the world to me in that little sentence.

... and then JocelynneB surprises me with a little snail mail. a card out of nowhere just saying "i know you can do this"

and i am beyond blown away with how much you little "blog friends" actually mean to me. you have shown more support than those in my life that exist in 3-D form.

so thank you for your concerns. quips. and swift kicks in the ass. they all keep me on my toes and i love each of you dearly!

then i tackled the photoshop. i was visiting Missy's Blog a while back and saw her gorgeous layout of her son with the Dixie Chicks lyrics to "Godspeed" and just had to do a layout because it just seemed to fit right now that laken is gone.

Godspeed Little Man <---- link takes you to the post on TwoPeas

blogger all of a sudden decided one picture was the max on this post

it's electrifying!

2006-07-13T06:07:00.000-07:00

so the parental units are out of town and said "chris, feed the dogs"
last night. 10 o'clock. i'm there opening the dog run to get in.
it's an chain link gate and i'm pushing it open to get in.
out of nowhere, Ginger jumps on me. i move and she runs into the gate, which at that point pushes forward and decides to rest on the electric fence. so i'm kicking it trying to get out. afraid to touch it with my hands. does it move? NO. Does it get even more stuck against the electric fence? yes!

i have no phone. i'm stuck in the dog run. the entire thing is surrounded by an electric fence. what's a girl to do??

electrocute herself!

that's right. i grabbed the damn gate and pulled it out. shocked the hell out of me! i jumped back but didn't fall over. it was some scary shizz. and so hard for me to make that decision to shock myself.

speaking of decisions. i had child support court yesterday. saw the jerk in all his awesome glory. Mrs. Attorney says i have two choices: i can send him to jail for owing me over $2000 in back pay, or put him on probation for 10 years and see if he starts paying. if he misses a payment, technically he's in contempt of court. and i can send him to jail then.

what's a girl to do?

i had a damn soft moment and let his ass be on probation. took me five minutes to sign that paper.

i really don't want his money. i haven't needed it in the last 15 months that he has gone without paying it. so why now? i don't really want him around. he's only seen laken three times. i'd like to keep him out of my life as much as possible. that would be nice.

thing is - i don't really think the government has any right to force someone to be a parent. and how do you put a sticker price on what your child is worth? i know it's a stretch. but seriously, i sat in her office weighing my options concerning his lack of "responsibility" and wonder how in the hell the government can say he MUST do this. ?? so i scribbled my john hancock on a peice of paper granting him his friggin' freedom.

... i have three days to change my mind.

"i can be the meanest person in the world - so i apologize to you and to anyone else that i hurt too..."

2006-07-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

so i have to say sorry for being a debbie downer lately
lots on my mind and plate
i'm starting things
ending things
missing things
skipping things...

i saw this on Grace's blog and had to take it because way back when, i was a "sanguine" but after taking this again, i realize this fits me to a T.

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.
You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.
At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

WhatTemperment Are You?

yeah. good times! every single bit of this is true. especially the "proud of your faults"
if you know me at all... you know how freaky scary it is to have a little 5 question quiz (that is usually so vague that it would spit out the correct answer for anyone) give me these results.

and now i'm off to physics lecture. physics lab down this morning.
this getting up at 7am thing is going to get old...

laws of motion

2006-07-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

physics II
16 weeks worth of material crammed into 5
my dean says "you'd better do DAMN good in this class or you're going to sit out the next two semesters"
verbatim
class starts tomorrow
the next year of my life - begins tomorrow
if i fail (yet again) i'm out
and i could possibly lose any and all motivation to finish my degree

An object at rest will remain at rest and an object in motion will remain in motion unless acted on by an outside force.

right now: i'm in motion.
and i'm doing everything in my power to stay that way
physics will NOT stop me
it can't
i won't allow it
i need an A in this class
it's the only way to prove to my dean that no outside force can stop me...

this weekend i went to a wedding
during the wedding i receive a text that my sister had her baby
and then i realize that life is happening
all around me
and it's great
i'm just trying to figure out how to get mine into 1st gear
it's somewhere around here...

sigh... has it been two weeks yet?

2006-07-06T20:19:00.000-07:00

There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they've left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there's nothing... but empty space and silence.

soooo....
for the next fourteen days my son will not be with me. he will not be in the city. or the state. or the time zone even...

he will be in Pennsylvania!

i'm so depressed. and sad. (in case those are two different things)

this morning was a total hell saying goodbye. my dad took off into the wide world of travel. my mom, dad, and brother are on vacation. going to see the grandparents. the gravel flew about the driveway as my dad peeled out and there i stood in the driveway of their house. crying. their take off was akin to ripping a bandaid off a wound.

for the last 15 months i've spent maybe a handful of nights away from my son. he is my stability. my reason. my everything. my life. and now... now i'm sitting in my house alone. and there is no little boy running around. and i'm not crying because i don't think it's really registered that he won't be running around for another 14 days. i haven't picked up his toys. thrown out his diaper from last night. nothing.

sigh.

but. school starts monday. i'm working like a mad woman. and time... time just HAS to go by quickly. i'm leaving it no choice. it HAS to. because if it takes too long... i'll go insane.

seriously

but i'm le tired...

2006-06-30T10:49:00.000-07:00

i'm boring.
nothing to update you on...
so i thought i'd share the End of the World with you!

NOTE: bad language. so don't play it at work ... but it's well worth getting fired for if you decided to do it anyway! Happy Weekend...

ps - scott, this makes me think of you... "eh"

Words of Wisdom

2006-06-29T07:35:00.000-07:00

The things you fear are undefeatable not by their nature, but by YOUR approach...

- Jewel Kilcher

Just a quote that keeps slapping me over and over and over again... and so true! my blessed Jewel... oh where did you go?

and... if you have myspace and you have not added me, all i can say is "WHY THE HELL NOT?!" so come out lurkers.

Click here for my profile!

For one night... i was a super star!

2006-06-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

wait... SALT stands for Staff of the Amarillo Little Theater

and they get to chose someone to give an award to for memorable moments of the season. Well, i may not have one for Best Female Lead, but i did win this puppy - the Great Escape Award.

For almost going to jail an hour before our last performance of the play. Yes. i won! acceptance speech and all. it was a ton of fun!

Man have i been busy this weekend. nothing exciting. all work. in a period of 96 hours, i will have worked 34 hours. that's just too damn much. too damn much.

i'm off to run errands.

oh and! considering my last post was so crazy, i thought i'd share that when changing a diaper, i refuse REFUSE to use more than two wipes. don't ask where the logic in that is... cause i don't know!

epiphany of the day!

2006-06-20T17:44:00.000-07:00

went to the restroom for a number one potty break...
and realized that i use about two feet of toilet paper in one sitting (pun intended)
no wonder i run out all the time...

thought you needed to know

cause he didn't have to be...

2006-06-18T07:08:00.000-07:00

When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run
I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is "I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be"
... cause he didn't have to be
- Brad Paisley

** Perfect song for my daddy on his day! I know you'll never read this. I know you'll never understand how much you mean to me. How much this 12 year old little girl welcomed you into her life because you made my momma so happy. because you were the missing link in our family. because you never introduced me as "my step daughter" or "my wife's daughter" but as YOUR daughter. because you gave me a ring on your wedding day as well to symbolize your committment to me as a father. because you've cried with me over silly things.

also because as a single mommy, i have faith that God has great things in store for my son. Not just for me, but because i know that if there is ONE great man out there that will take in a little girl as his own, that the very same can happen for my little boy.

and when i see you playing with laken in your own little ways. i am flooded with that emotion all over again. because i know that you ARE that man in his life right now. and i thank you. on behalf of myself. and laken as well.

i hope that i can raise my son to be HALF the man that you didn't HAVE to be.

... cause you didn't have to be!

2006-06-15T17:51:00.000-07:00

my momma's birthday was yesterday. she tripped over a chair and banged her face on her wooden-ended recliner, cut it open and now looks like she's storing acorns in her cheeks for the winter. poor thing. i love her.

went to the grocery store and spent some major bucks on rachel ray's 7 Menu thingie in her magazine. She gives you a week of recipes and even a shopping list. Guys at the produce dept were laughing, surely, when i said, "what's arugula? where are the basil leaves?" and ten seconds later came up and asked, "where's the cilantro?" The people in the cheese department were not so thrilled when i asked for a "one pound ball of mozzarella" and some "parmagiano" cheese and some "fontina" I swear. cooking is not my forte.

people at Hobby Lobby and Michael's were not very patient when i asked for modeling paste and when they asked "what are you going to use it for?" i just blinked blankly and said "i dunno" i spent twenty minutes looking for that shizz...

Today's GREAT THE GREAT'S birthday! what are you... 29?? i hope my girls are front in center like yours when i'm 29. love you and hope you had a blast! please head over to two peas and check out your lovin

lost my creative flow. if you see it, please drop it in the nearest mailbox with some scrappy supplies to keep her warm...

found some mini oreos for laken. he likes to stick them all in his mouth at once.

spent the night last night hunched over the coffee table while my roommate peeled skin off my back. are you sure you guys wouldn't want some chriselda skinz??? i have plenty of it!! haha! i had to vaccuum myself up. it was kinda freakishly disturbing

britney spears and her interview with Matt Lauer is about to come on. gawd i love to hate to love her!!!

>MUAH< love and lots of it!

the thing is...

2006-06-11T15:11:00.000-07:00

my skin feels nasty (please see post below)
i can finally move today. yesterday sucked because i had to go to work and wear a bra. didn't want to sock somebody in the eye with one of the girls.

my roommate is visiting family today and i've had the house to myself
i can't remember the last time i lived alone.
i kinda miss it.
i miss apartment life sometimes, too.

anyway, Michelle emailed me and asked if i wanted to take part in a new type of scrapbooking challenge. very a la the Effer Dares or Freestyle Blog. but this one is different in that it will require you to really weigh in. And by that i mean... How much is too much?? I don't head it up, by any means, but i hope that we see some stuff that is over the top in content too. i'm tired of the fluffy stuff that i see in every single issue of every single scrapbooking magazine. If i had the money to start a Realist sort of magazine... i'd do it. In any event, i encourage you to head on over to the blog we started and link up your pages. This first challenge is definitely Michelle style! Not to mention that she sucks you in with a reference to Arby's Roast Beef and Cheddar!

So i have over 10,000 photos and i still can't find anything to scrap. so please... send me stuff.

and sorry to the boys and non scrappers for the sidetrack into scrapbooking lalaland

once again... i can't make this stuff up

2006-06-08T18:53:00.000-07:00

ok. so people... I'm nominated for an ALTA which is an Amarillo Little Theater Award for best female lead!!! So excited!! I don't think i'll win, but to get nominated in itself is an honor! So we have our little mini-Oscar night for the theater on June 24th.

so i've been dieting. here it is and i've lost 5lbs in four days.

Breakfast - oatmeal and egg whites
Lunch - my one "big meal" of the day that also has one serving of carbs. and it can't be anything white. so it's whole grain stuff here!
Dinner - tuna or some peanut butter on whole wheat bread

absolutely nothing to drink besides water. and i've done at least 45 minutes of cardio everyday. however, yesterday was my day off from exercising because i was sore and also because i had a ton of friggin' errands to run. one of them was to go to the Tanning Salon since i had gone dress shopping for the ALTAs that morning. My dress is backless and i decided i needed to tan it up.

Well folks, my whole exercising thing came to a screaching halt when i realized this:

falling asleep in a tanning bad is NEVER a good idea!!
i went twenty minutes. butt ass naked. didn't realize it was hot because i had turned the fan on.
sorry i had to expose my fat ass to the www
i cropped the second picture so you couldn't see me holding up the girls
i am in so much pain, i am literally walking around like a penguin.
can't bend my knees cause the backs are burned
can barely wear clothes
and as michelle likes to call me ... i'm "Bloody Mary" oh lord...
at least the ALTAs are a couple of weeks away still!

not so black and white...

2006-06-05T00:54:00.000-07:00

i am drifting...
without an anchor
through your ambiguous region
strange continent - immune to all reason
and i'm flattered
by your grey matter

ok. so life is blah.
and if you've known me for two seconds you know i don't like fluff.
so take your marshmallows elsewhere
i'm dieting. because i can't be fat anymore
and because i refuse to buy fat clothes.
i'm purging my system of all this yucky stuff
and i keep coming up gasping for air.
i'm drowning in it!
truth? i am almost depressed again
because once again, i look around and all i see is empty space
and my deal is that i don't like to have someone fill it for me
but is it too much to ask that once, when i spin around with my arms up in the air
up in defeat
waving my white flag
that there be someone in my periphereal that is there to anchor down the spin?
can someone please fuckin' reach out to me and just say,
"i'm here. stop spinning like mad trying to find me...."

please.

sigh.

2006-06-02T06:22:00.000-07:00

there's nothing to update you on

i haven't worked all week
i watched DaVinci code... eeeeeh.
i drank two Margaritas during happy hour yesterday
i took laken to the dentist to have his three teeth checked out (ridiculous if you ask me)
i broke two nails
it rained
i found an oak tree that i'd been looking for so i could complete a scrappy page. well, i'm not sure it's oak. so... you tell me. and if it's an elm - just lie and say "oak" it really is a big tree. it looks small. anyway... just say "oak" But if it is an elm - say "elm" but "it's oak" got it??? good

alright. have a good weekend y'all. i'm off to the gym.

recap

2006-05-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

hola hola!
greetings after the holiday weekend. you know, this is a horrible thing to say, but it's only a matter of a few years before we start celebrating 9/11 with a cookout and an ice chest full of beer. Seriously, was "memorial day" really supposed to be about this? and sales? My roommate says (of the 9/11 sales) "Everything will be Ground Zero!" we're awful. and on our way to hell.

anyway, it was a busy weekend. My cousin, Megan, graduated high school. Graduation was fun. and i was the appointed photographer. I tried to get some pics of my gramma, but she wasn't having it since she wore two different shoes. hahaha! good times.

My friend Steve came over with a pool for Laken. and a baby lawn chair. he LOVED it! with a capital LOVE. there are more pictures for you to look at by clicking HERE . We had a blast with the pool and we are all secretly waiting to jump in with him since it's big enough!

They didn't have cool pools like this when we were kids. All we had is the plastic one with the turtles painted on the bottom. the one you had to push the side down in order to drain it.

but noooooo. Laken gets this thang!
a mini water park. complete with a slide. ridiculous. you can see this from our front door window and laken loves to play at or near the windows. first thing this morning he walked over to the window, saw the pool and then started crying cause we coudn't go outside. i'm afraid to take him outside because he'll get really pissy if he can't play in it. or even if i simply bring him inside. he loves it out there. and since i'm a big sun-phobe, it's a bit difficult to compromise. i'm the mommy though. so, i get to say, "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" and come inside.
nice

and because i've been such a nice girl lately. i got the ring i asked for!!! how nice is that?!

tonight we're supposed to go to a baseball game. but i think that's going to be a no go since we can't find one of the tickets. waaaaaaaaaaa.

my guilty pleasure of the weekend has been the Laguna Beach marathon on MTV. i'm all caught up and can't wait for The Hills to start. can't believe i'm watching MTV. i seriously didn't leave my living room for about three hours. thank goodness for TiVo. we recorded it and then i watched it sporadically throughout the afternoon.

anyway, i'm off to play with my kid. toodles y'all!

what just happened?

2006-05-27T23:05:00.000-07:00

*** did a guy that i sorta-dated earlier this year really come over to my house out of the blue this week and proceed to tear his long toenails off by hand and flick them onto my driveway?

*** did i really take my camera out with me to capture "mommy's night out" and forget to take my memory card with me? And did my friend pull one out of her purse and say, "it's your lucky day, because i have my memory stick with me, but not my camera" ??? not the right kind of memory card - so it didn't work. but, how do two grown women fail to have one complete camera in their purse?? it made me giggle.

*** when i was sitting on the toilet last night while my friend was making eggs in the kitchen, i saw a ginormous spider on the tub. so i yelled, "steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve, come kill this spider." i'm not afraid of spiders. but this one was brown and big. so i'm thinking, brown recluse. so i opt to endanger my friend instead. so i'm still sitting on the porcelain throne, doin' my business when he takes his shoe off and smashes it. then.... 20 or more BABY SPIDERS spew out of this thing!!! We killed a pregnant spider, y'all. oh, karma. i JUMPED off the toilet - my panties around my ankles and start screaming. yes. this is how it happened. it's funny now. but last night it was scary stuff.

*** i went to a birthday party for one of laken's friends. while i was there, i realized that i would be doing this for the next 10 years (at least) of my life. As the shock is setting in, i hear a little kid pitching a fit and screaming his head off and realize, I hate other people's kids. I love my son. don't get my wrong. but other people's kids. yeah, no thanks. and it's not so much the kid. kids will be kids. but parents that don't do anything about it, drive me insane. so maybe i don't like adults with kids. hmmmm. anyway, the point is: I'm not looking forward to ten years worth of birthday parties.

*** i was out watering the lawn in the morning. was bending over to grab the sprinkler when my roomie comes out screaming "chriselda nooooooooooooo" and she's laughing tears. and i said, "yeah i know my pants have a hole in them" as i'm reaching around to cover it up. and then i realize it's not a hole, it's a whole piece of material missing from my pants!! i swear to you it was HUGE! and i'm wearing a thong and i just exposed my crack to the neighborhood and all the people at the bus stop!

*** during happy hour on thursday, a random stranger with chunks of dip stuck in his teeth bought us a round of margaritas. then proceeded to tell us that we should have a camera follow us around beause we were hilarious. then some girl blurts out, "Are you staring at my titties!?" weirdest. thing. to. say. ever.

anyway, seriously folks. this shirt right here is FANFRIGGIN'TASTIC.
i must have it. used to be on team meredith until i had to watch her put out during the season finale. see, before it was ok. they were in love and whatever. but now that McCreepy chose she-shepherd over Addison, she knows his deal. and she still spread 'em. and for those of you who ask why she's considered a whore - here's the reason: broken penis guy. he who runs guys. mc dreamy. and gawd knows who else. even SHE knew she was whore. she took up knitting. argh. i am sooooo on team Addison.

sunny day... takin' the clouds away...

2006-05-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

laken cried last night. lots. i think he was having nightmares. so i took him into my room with me. GASP! and he slept in mommy's bed. this morning, i woke up and he was inches in front of my face. he smiled when i opened my eyes, then practically swallowed my face whole with his kisses. sigh. i love being a mom. no other male in this world will watch me sleep and think it's cute enough to deserve a kiss before i brush my teeth.

lookie lookie!!!

phew. i'm so relieved. total cost for camera repair? $10.83 niceness!
so i sent a text to my friend and said it was fixed and i'd pay for it but he had to buy Laken a swimming pool and baby lawn chair in exchange.

Then i tried to tell him that since i had suffered a noteable amount of pain and suffering, that i needed to be compensated with this...

the african beaded ring from James Avery. he wasn't amused. In other news...

Gosh Darnit... PEAple love me!!!

This is Cathy Caroline's layout of Laken. girl is such a spunky little scrapper. thanks a ton of times over! love this to bits. love that one of your peapraise said "just think someday soon you will scrap one of your own....hehe" Is there something you need to tell us???

And my girl, ASHLEY did this one for me! i was so surprised! thank you so much! i LOVE this! i was crackin' up with all the graph paper facts. you are too too much.

i should do this more often. just ask people to make pages for me. then i don't have to flippin' do it! yesssssssss! this seriously helps my scrapper's block.

MUST READ THIS:

church sunday: kids choir is doing a special. upbeat music, blah blah. and then all of a sudden a little boy is rapping. and then they bust out with "You down with G-O-D? Yeah, you know me!!" i swear it! i can't make this up. a couple of minutes later they're sing "oooooooh yeah. what have you done for HIM lately?" and i'm laughing. HARD. seriously, naughty by nature and janet jackson have found their way into a church choir production. i've seen it all.

conversation between me and my roommate:

Chriselda- "the reason good looking guys have ugly girlfriends is because they keep her around so there will always be that woman that is good to him. she doesn't want to lose him."

Jessica - "i'm pretty. and i treat my boyfriends well."

(long pause followed by silence. i blinked a few times) then...

Jessica - "that's why i'm divorced. and single."

bwahahahahahahaha! good times!

don't mind me

2006-05-22T02:27:00.000-07:00

so apparently, blogger is being a jerkface and only letting me a wee bit of photos at a time. which sucks, because i have about two weeks worth of Photo of the Day shots. and here they are...

{May 5th} this is a ball that was in our garage. it's odd to me. so i had to take a picture of it. the more i stared at it, the more disturbing i found it...

{May 6th} a rack of Basic Grey at my local scrapbook store. There's nothing like retail therapy. finals were over. i failed failed failed. and basic grey was there for me. in all it's infinite glory... it was there!!!

{May 7th} my favorite way to spend my afternoons these days. we sit outside in our lawn chairs. heat. flip flops. frozen margarita. paradise!!! loves me some summer summer summer summer time... just sit back and unwind! (and there's that ball again...)

{May 8th} Chance of scattered thunderstorms...
ummmmm. where? i remember sitting out in the driveway and looking at the sky and wondering if the meteorologists in our town are smoking crack on a daily basis. how in the world does this pose a thunderstorm threat??? (those are clouds - in case you're on crack...)

{May 9th} I wish i could eat like this and have people think it was cute. We went to Johnny Carinos and laken finally found a "thing" for chocolate. of course, it was short lived and he had about five seconds of cake before pitching a fit. but still, this photo right here makes mommyhood all worth it. just to know that your kid is content in a piece of cake.

{May 10th} My scrap space. formerly known as "the dining room table" My roommate. i think she secretly wants to be able to eat at the table. but then again, there's no tv in our dining room. so maybe not...

{May 11th} i know i said i would leave them unedited. but this photo was inspired by another blogger. and since i read about 60something blogs, i can't remember who. so i can't give credit. but, it's due somewhere!! another photo of laken in the tub. lord he loves his baths... even on days other than wednesday. teehee!

{May 12th} We went grocery shopping. this is my most favorite thing to do because i feel so domestic. this trip to the store came shortly after an episode of 30 Minute Meals and the mailman coming (coincidentally) with my new issue of Rachel Ray's Everyday Magazine. yayness.

{May 14th} waaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on our hands. there was a dead bug in the driveway. and we're outside. and decide that smoking kills. see? apparently, setting bugs on fire (which i didn't have the heart to do) is a sign of psychosis. or something like that. don't ask me. i'm no social worker!

{May 15th} i don't know why. but i love this photo of myself. can someone please scrap it? i'll give you a dollar! i can't decide if it's because my eyes look ginormous. or because there's a hair chunk waaaay misplaced or because i was having a good eyebrow day. but i like it. so scrap it dammit!!! (thank you)

{May 16th} "Got an eye booger the size of a walnut" - best line ever from My Name is Earl. if you don't watch it. please do. you might lose a few brain cells with each episode. but if it don't inspire you to laugh at life... i dunno what will. Now, "go get mommy's stripper shoes out of your toy box."

{May 17th} My son. so stinkin' cute. he's wearing his basketball clothes because it's playoff season. Spurs 3 Dallas 3. YES it makes a difference which team wins. even though they're both Texas teams. dallas schmallas. yeah, you heard me Scott and Michelle!! Anyway, laken has been decked out in anything with a basketball on it just as often as i can wash it. i think i need a Spurs Jersey for him. heck yes!

And that is the end of my photo of the day. i know i'm behind a few days, but that's because my friend broke my digiRebel. what? yeah, i said it! on the world wide web!! whatcha gonna do? Just kidding. you know i love you and your wallet for fixing it. you'd better hope that it gets fixed at the store and doesn't have to get shipped out to canon though. because if i have to go without a camera for more than a month, i will scream and buy myself a new camera. and this will cause me to go into the red with bills and then we won't have heat or running water... and it will be all your fault!!!!

ok... now, back to whatever it was you were doing before i bombarded you with my insane photography!

what was i saying???

2006-05-19T22:07:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Amy!!! the big 2-6!! see, right now it's still legal to list your actual age. in three years we'll stop counting. (at least i will)

amy and i have been friends since the pre-pubescent days. back when we were both skinny bitches that thought we were fat. now we'd kill to be that small again.

i can't believe so much time has passed. and we're all growed up now. we've gone from passing out drunk in people's lawns to having careers and lives and bills and babies.

in other news... my SPURS WON!!!! woot. game 7 - at home! we got it baby, i have FAITH!!! (que George Michael...)

furthermore, i have a sh'load of Photo of the Day pictures that need to be uploaded, but i don't feel like messing with blogger. so there. i'm just here to make your bloglines go BOLD!

true story. and... my new word is "maniac"

she's a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaniac. maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaniac. maaaaaaaaaaaaaaniac, that's for sho'!!!!!

...speaking of random

2006-05-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

so i'm reading again. and that's always nice.
the first one is Broke Diaries. love this book. it's hilarious and side splitting.
second, the Imperfect Mom. because we all are. and this is a book full of non-Marthas that eff it up from time to time. Have yet to find a story about hot wax all over a child's back... but still. it's REAL!
third is Smashed, which will be my next pick for my book club with Scott. so order up big boy! it's a book about a girl who spends her life DRUNK.

hey look. my life's theme in three books: broke, imperfect, and drunk. niiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

* was driving home last night after picking Laken up from the Paternal Units' home. (aka, Gramma's) and was driving about 64 in a 70. laaaadeeeedaaaaaa. and then this truck gets on my ass. so i'm between an 18wheeler and this truck. no biggie. i'm not concerned. then this truck pulls out of the lane behind me, into the next lane for about half a second, then darts back in behind me and flashes his lights. His red and blue and white lights. so i say "what the hell am i getting pulled over for now??" So i pull over and the nice "Highway Patrol" says, "ma'am you were following that semi too closely!" Isn't that an opinion? hmmmm. So, i tell him that i couldn't slow down because he was behind me. he's looking at my windshield at this point with his flashlight and sees my expired registration. again. So he tells me it's expired and i break into story "this is my ex husband's car. he lives in san antonio, i can't renew it through this county because there's still a lien on it. so i had to send the form to the tax assessor there. and they'll mail it back to me." then he asks for my proof of insurance. DRAT! i don't have insurance because i can't afford it because i keep getting pulled over and being threatened with jail and orange jumpsuits. it's a vicious cycle, i tell ya. anyway, so there goes another $200 on that ticket. thanks, buddy.

fun little facts:

i always open a bag of chips upside down. those little grab bags. can't eat 'em unless they're opened upside down.

i don't have much of a sweet tooth. don't like chocolate. i have a Nestle Crunch on my desk that has been sitting there for two days. it's half eaten.

my second toe is longer than the first one. (which means i'm going to be dominant in any relationship) Which, scientists are trying to prove means you have a genetic predisposition of becoming a homosexual. Also, if your ring finger is long than your index finger, yup... you're a carpet muncher deep down. Did i just say that?!

i must admit that i mostly buy books because the cover appeals to me. either that or the title. For example: How to Pee Standing Up. Good times. see, i AM judging a book by it's cover

i've read a ton of books before they became movies. like the Yaya Sisterhood, House of Sand and Fog, Memoirs of a Geisha, The Notebook, Girl, Interrupted, White Oleander and the fantatic Bridget Jones Diaries. I'm sad that i didn't read the DaVinci Code before now. But!!!! Two of my favorite-ist novels are movies now. The Devil Wears Prada, and The Nanny Diaries. I have an extra copy of the Nanny Diaries that i will send to the first person who asks for it... if anyone wants it. Now, i'm just waiting for the "Shopoholic" Movies to come out. cause that would be swell. and i'll even take the part for FREE!!! (brush up on my english accent. If Rene Zelweger can do it, so can i!)

i like to ramble

i am full of useless information and it spews out randomly. like, while watching Letterman last night. Kid science projects and one of them starts talking about Newton's laws of Motion. and there i go... "an object in motion...." N.E.R.D alert!

i have several MLA Handbooks. it's a guideline for college students to use. helps you avoid plaigerism and yada yada. i love them. am addicted to them. have three. including one that is pocket sized.

i love things on keychains. Chapstick, Sharpies, flashlights. now you can get that bleach pen on a key chain. but my all time favorite??? SUNSCREEN! sunscreen on a key chain. best. invention. ever!

Grey's anatomy is over. i sobbed like a little girl. i won't spoil in case some of you missed it. but effin' Izzy is the dumbest person ever. and what the hell was up with no-neck-Torres? she's so freakin' ugly and i'm so sick of her attitude. and why does meredith get to be a whore and we all love her? WHY?

almost have no desire to watch American Idol tonight. what for? not that it's all about chris, because i started feeling this way when ace left. but c'mon. what is this top three? who the hell??? Anyway, here is an interesting article for those of you who think that it's all fixed. Puh-lease. losing american idol is the best thing to happen to Chris. And can people stop saying how awesome Taylor is. c'mon. if he wins, what the hell is he going to do? dance around on stage like that all the damn time? sure it's fun. for the first five seconds. but, unless you're drunk or on your way... i really don't think this is "entertainment" for much longer than that. i can watch that at any bar in america for free. so Click here for AI Voting Strategies... Makes complete sense. only, i think Chris's Votes will go to Taylor.

ok... i'm tired of this. have a great day. off to blog!

It's my Blogger-versary!

2006-05-12T10:44:00.000-07:00

A while back i decided that i would write a little love note to you weekly. yeah. that didn't happen. So, in honor of my one year anniversary of blogging... i'm here to gush!

My actual blogbirthday is tomorrow, but i have a full day tomorrow so i'm doing this now!!

first off, let me just say that this last year has just been amazing. I discovered the blessings that come from having your daily serving(s) of your vegetables... and my life isn't and never will be the same.

So, last march i did a bit of surfing. saw some stuff that totally blew me away and then... i saw this girl's stuff. this young, beautiful, woman. and she's was a single mommy. and i remember feeling oh so excited because i was there... and i felt connected. and not alone in this world. and i emailed her. and she replied. and she told me to hang in there.

she's younger than me - but it keeps me hoping. wishing. praying. and KNOWING that it can be done!!! it can be done!!!

So here's to you AMBER NICHOLE! because i have never told you just what you've done for me!

i've never told you that your blog not only inspired me to write and feel and put it all out there
but it lead me to start one of my own
and then i met a ton of wonderful women in the process.
i have never told you just how much hope i find in you
how much faith i have in myself just because i see all the dreams that come true for you...
Here's to you for being so in love with life
and your son
and RG
and living
and loving
and creating
... just being!
i admire your strength and courage
your love of patterned paper
i love that you have handed toilet paper to Frou Frou when she's run out
i love that you have had a hand in the inspiration process that is the Effers
i love you because you're you and you don't apologize for it
love you because you can wear white pants and post your ass on the world wide web
love that you put wee-man's videos on your blog
love that you found the old man on the bicycle and humping lady bugs... and road signs for effer-town
love that you let us in
because in more ways than one
(and i'm sure i speak for more than myself)
you have come into my life
and heart
and motivation

and i thank you!

hey, it's MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

2006-05-10T22:57:00.000-07:00

just a few pics for you. my life is not interesting right now but i'm being hounded for an update. so here it is. so i had to do this LATE LATE LATE layout for my color cj. and it was "Aqua Martini" so i had to drink. yay! but, this is the second part of the CJ, and that, my friends, is NOT alcohol in the martini glass. it's an Ocean Water Slush from Sonic. Yes this is me... SOBER.

Brynne got to see me drunk. and passed out at IHOP, waking only long enough to shout that i needed my WHEAT NOODLES!!!

and people... this is my new 'do. i got my haircut monday morning. might have it colored this weekend. i had a funeral to go to that morning and was NOT FEELING any sort of motivation to do my hair. so i had it washed, cut and styled for me!! bwahahaha. i'm so lazy.

the last one is of laken. threw it in for good measure. love that the duckie is flying through the air. nice ness.

Went to Johnny Carinos for dinner and had the worst service ever.
went to court for the tickets i got two weeks ago. $300+ worth of fines. yay!
went to the scrappy store this afternoon and special ordered some goodies. should come in tomorrow! so excited. need me some mother's day projects.
went to the post office to mail off cjs - April... shoot me now. realized when i got there that i didn't have my wallet. screw! they go out tomorrow. i swear it!

alright. one more final tomorrow morning. Genetics. blech.
and then i'm done.
stick a fork in me... i'm done!!!

p.s. i really don't have multiple chins... it just looks that way because i have a dimple in my chin. creates and optical illusion. but.. i really am fat. so believe it sister. i have a big butt and i cannot lie. and in case you haven't seen this JAZZ... please click on this and spend the next six minutes laughing your tookas off!

a little unwell....

2006-05-08T00:21:00.000-07:00

sorry for the scrappin' post... but this is too funny to pass up! So i've been on the phone with Michelle all night. we did a photo swap and i'm sitting at my computer printing pictures and then the mayhem ensues.

1. i can't figure out why my printer isn't working. and then i realize it's out of paper.

2. ten minutes later, i'm scream "Michelle, i have a headache. it's not printing again!" and then i realize, i've pressed pause. DUH!

after a cup of coffee, i sit down to do some scrappy stuff for Michelle. and the whole time i'm telling her how cute it's turning out and where are my K's? I tell her about my crush on a fellow blogger and she asks "who do you love more?" and i tell her, i can't answer that. so she says "between me and him... who would be the maid of honor?" and i think she's missing the point of the whole "crush discussion" Meanwhile, my scrappy page of her daughter is coming right along... and then bam! here it is!

then for some reason, i decide to ask her, is it Cassandra with a K? or a C? and she says "you ASS!!!! it's with a C. " and then this had to happen:

i feel like such an ass. i can't believe i did that. and i'm laughing. cause it's 2am and i'm still awake. and talking to michelle for going on four hours or something ridiculous like that. and i should know that her daughter's name starts with a C. i mean, michelle is going to be my maid of honor, after all. i tell her i'm embarrased and she says "i'm embarrased for you" and then later says "kkk? i'm kinda scared. you're not racist are you? my poor daughter"

hahaha!
sometimes, i'm brilliant. the guy at the convenience store today was making fun of me because i failed to give him the right amount of money. when i asked, "is that not enough?" he looked at me like i was stupid and said "are you a drop out?" i laughed my head off the whole way back to my car...

ok. tomorrow. back to the regular, non scrappin' posts

ROUND TWO BABAY!!!!

2006-05-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

ok. i'm not a big sports person. but i LOVE me some NBA playoffs. i also like Hockey and NASCAR. you know how NASCAR got it's name? someone said "hey, that's a niiiiice car!" lmao. NASCAR, get it? oh lord.

anyway, this will be a picture loaded post because i LOVE my San Antonio Spurs beat it up and are now on to round two for the playoffs. HECK YES!!!

i used to have a thing for the Tony Parker dude, but then he got with yucky Eva Longoria. NEXT!?

The photos that follow are just weird photos that i am so thankful for. basically because they were OUT THERE just waiting to be saved as. And now, i'm sharing them with you because i rawk from time to time. and these are just fantastic. make me laugh. teeheee.

Hey kids! play nice!! seriously, sometimes basketball pisses me off. we're supposed to be running up and doiwn the court... not rolling around on it.

point proven. c'mon bruce. this isn't a slip and slide...

Am i the only person that finds this picture to be dirty? look at Big Shot Rob's face. if Tony wasn't leaning forward, this wouldn't be nearly as funny. Gives new meaning to the phrase "Stick it to the man!"

Look! Tim Duncan can palm Manu Ginobli's head. now THAT'S talent!

poor manu. i don't know what is funnier. the fact that his shorts are extended like an "i lost 500lbs on the Subway Diet" commercial, or his facial expression. Sheesh. i hope he wasn't wearing an underwear with any Skid Marks.

In other news: i was watching TV this morning and drinking my nice lemonade. And on comes this commercial for this Mexican restaurant. then all of a sudden i see this

ladies and gentleman, let me introduce you to Laken's Dad. he is the one on the right. Imagine my surprise to see him on television at 11am. lemonade almost spewed out of my mouth. This had the potential of ruining my day. Stupid idiot. for those of you who know my saga, you'll understand. for those of you who don't here's the quick summary: alcohol. whoops. baby. no dad. three visitations in the 13months of laken's life. no child support. and then i see him on TV??? i put it on pause and made a joke about putting laken in front of the tv and say "there's daddy." then i drop kicked the televsion. (just kidding)

Horrible thing - laken was crawling around the floor and playing with the cord to my potpurri pot (why is that pronounce "poh-poh-ree" ???) anyway, i said "LAKEN! NUH UH!!" and he stands up, trips on the cord, falls on his face, and then gets covered in hot wax!! poor kid. he screamed. and i flipped out. i'm such a horrible mom. he's fine so don't get all worried.

second horrible thing - So i'm on the phone with Michelle, who affectionately calls me "MARY" because she says "chriselda" just doesn't work for her. Anyway, so i'm walking around the house while talking and i start screaming. she says "Mare? Mare? what happened?" and i tell her that i've stubbed my toe. and she says "So, this has nothing to do with ME. let's talk about me. " and i reply with "YOU BITCH!" lmao

ok. i'm off to surf scrap blogs and kiss her butt so i can get a nice package courtesy of miss burberry girl!!!

there was a time, when i was so broken hearted - love wasn't much, of a friend of mine....

2006-05-05T06:56:00.000-07:00

phew. don't really know why i'm singing Aerosmith at 9am. but, such is life. anyway, i told "Cathy"Caroline that i would participate in the Photo of the Day thing with her. and here's the deal...

i used to be a big fan of Film. really wanted to stay along those lines. but, then Canon put out a Digital Rebel... and i haven't seen a roll of film since. Truth be told, i like digital. but there's nothing better than film. i love the feel, the grain, the .... mmmm. i can't even describe it. so, if you ever get a chance to work with film, and i mean develop it and all that good stuff - don't pass it up. it will change your life.

So lately, i have spent a sh'load of time in the "digital darkroom" and have decided - i don't want to do that anymore. So, for this POTD thing, i am going to post my pics as is. it's amazing what a camera can do if you have a little creativity...

{May 1st} my fridge. we're not health nuts by any means. so, look past the OJ, water, lactose free milk (that's for laken) diet dr. pepper, and soy yogurt. really focus on the the third shelf. the pizza. this was a diet spoiler for me.

{May 2nd} My required reading for the semester. I haven't been reading it all this time. and i had this paper to write for my final. so that meant.... yup! One book. One night. not really sure how i pulled it off, but i did. i'm sure it had something to do with being up until 5am though. it was good. Two thumbs up. fine holiday fun. see... and you thought i only read blogs...

{May 3rd} i've been sick. and it sucked. i really like this picture. mainly because the camera failed to focus on anything. but mostly because this is how i spent my day. lying on the couch. sick. and out of focus. hey, i lost three pounds though!!

{May 4th} that's right. laugh it up. i can't even make biscuits. i swear i tried really hard. my poor son. he's going to suffer from malnutrition. i tried to make these last night. and seriously, who can't make biscuits? open pop can (or in my case, have roommate open pop can because i'm a ninny and get FREAKED out when it pops), place on cookie sheet and in oven. and whalla! BURNT biscuits.

{May 5th} this one was taken really early this morning. this is laken's baby monitor. it has always been important to me for him to have his own room. granted, it's right across from mine, but i still believe in it. you'd think that since i'm single that i'd want him in bed with me. but heck no! that's what they make baby beds for. i'll shake my finger at you if i find out your child is co-sleeping with you. esp if you're married! big no-no. so laken and i will share my bed maybe once a month. maybe. and usually only for morning naps. so here is his monitor. it's amazing! it's really clear. doesn't pick up the neighbor's phone conversations or anything like that. BUT it's too good. it's enough to rattle me out of bed. and it lights up and all that good stuff. makes no sense. i mean, if the noise doesn't wake you up... why would the light??

We went to go see "Stick It" yesterday while playing hooky from work. then we were pumped to work out. (and work off the large popcorn, movie nachos, cokes, and jujubees) We ran out to the track and ran around it a few times. a mile. and that 20 minute jog took almost two hours and a hot shower to recover from. i felt like my esophogus was going to implode it hurt so bad. What can i say, we were inspired by little girls in leotards. So this morning, when laken was waking up and crying... i let him cry for about 10 minutes until i could muster up enough leg "oomph" to get out of bed. i'm so out of shape. you'd think i'd climbed Mt. Everest with the way i was limping into his room.

anyway, i'm off to barnes and noble to get me some coffee and read a nice book. do you think they'd find it weird if i brought in my blankie??

just another day in my crazy life...

2006-05-03T15:46:00.000-07:00

ok. i've said it a million times before, and i'm here saying it again. "Things like THIS only happen to me..."

Weinerschnitzel - i had an episode at "the schnitz" the other night when i ordered a #2 value meal, thinking it was two chili dogs. Nope, that's the #1. only i didn't realize that until i had driven BACK over there. So i went straight to the drive thru window. It's around 1am. and i tell the guy i got the wrong thing. "I ordered a #2 and i got a polish saushage. polis shausage. POLISH SAUSAGE sandwich" and the guy just stared at me. after about 5 seconds of silence i'm like "HELLO!!!" and he says "what do you want me to do about it??" and i said "well, i was supposed to get two chili dogs. can you FIX IT?" and he grabs the bag all rude like. then opens the window back up and says "that'll be .31 cents" WTF? i just paid you 6.04!! so he tells me that it costs more for the chili dogs. Mother .... argh! So i hand him change. Meanwhile, my roommate is crackin' up. I look over and she says "His name tag says 'Dizzle'" and then we laugh for.ev.er. About 3 minutes later, he comes back with my chili dogs. I got home and let them go to waste. He had such a problem with helping me and seemed so upset about it. I was afraid to eat the dogs. afraid he had "dizzled" in my chili dogs. so i didn't eat them. i refused!!!

Convenience store - (four minutes after leaving the schnitz) Jessica and i are sitting in the car after coming out of the store and this truck drives up next to us. Two guys and one girl, the girl is riding "bitch." She falls out of the truck and practically stumbles and staggers her way into the store. To which i reply "she's DRUNK!" and jessica says "So are those guys" and i look over and Bubba and Jack (names i made up for them) are staring at us, their tongues waggin'. Then Bubba roles down his winder. I'm on the passenger side, closest to him and i don't know why my roommate hates me, but she rolls down my window. "Heeeeeeeey girls. How are you doing?" and i said (must read this with a drunk voice) "heeeeeeeeey. howrYOUdo.en?" and jessica (the My Name is Earl fanatic) says "Heeeeeeey dummies!" and they bust out laughing. OMG. Then bubba is like "where arrrrrrrrrrrrrre youuuuuuuuuu going?" and i said "home" and then he proceeds to tell us that the girl is NOT his girl but his brother in law's wife. And i ask, "So she's your sister?" and he's like, "YEAH! noooooo. " and then jack says "she's my sister." or something like that. by this point, i'm laughing so hard i am almost wetting myself. So she comes back out, her eyes rolling in her head and says, "I jesss the sissssssstER in law. nutin' roooooomANtic." and then climbs back into bitch. weird.

Grocery store - i ran into the the grocery store quickly to get Laken some milk and i'm wearing this shirt over here.

<-------

Then, the lady at the cash stand says "My husband LOVES that game." History on the tshirt: it belongs to a stupid exboyfriend of mine. one night i stayed over and woke up late and snatched this shirt. ended up never giving it back. i like it. i always thought it was a band. wasn't until today that i found out it was an XBOX game popular among overgrown little boys, aka, MEN. So anyway, she's scanning my milk cartons and then says "can you find out where he got it?" and i tell her "no" Then she says "I'll buy it from you!" OK!!! and what do i wear out of the store?? Crazy lady!! so i laugh and think surely she's off her rocker. who asks someone if they can buy the shirt off their back.... ??? WHO?! after 30 seconds go by, she hands me my receipt and says "Will you take ten bucks for it?" to which i gave her a "lady, you're crazy" look and told her that it was weird and that nobody has ever asked me something like that. and she continues to tell me how much her husband loved the game, that it's a shooting game (i could've figured that one out with the "guns" and all, lady) and proceeds to cock her finger like she's cocking a gun. holds it up and then i grab laken and the milk and laugh my way out of the store.

seriously. i don't make this shit up. i'm glad jessica was there to at least witness Dizzle and Bubba and Jack. just so you don't think i'm a habitual liar and live in some alternate universe...

A Day without an Immigrant

2006-05-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

my first political post. i'm inspired, sorry. This is something that hits close to home for me. And not because i am hispanic. not because my grandfather came to this country as an illegal immigrant, then later did it the "right way" and brought over my grandmother and her 11 children, one of which who was my Mexico-born mother. not because my grandmother can't speak English. not because my grandfather, grandmother, and aunts and uncles worked in the cotton fields, irrigation fields, and various odd jobs just to put bread on the table.

but because this very family came over here to provide a better life for their family. because all of my aunts and uncles learned a SECOND language. learned english. because in the years that have gone by since, out of 63 of my cousins, this next generation, this "American" family, only a handful of us speak Spanish. because since then, my aunts have all completed their citizenship tests and know more about "america" then your average American Joe Blow walking down the street.

One - you don't have to "take back" anything. this wasn't YOUR country to begin with. just because you came over here with ships and culture and a government doesn't mean that it was YOUR land. there's no "taking back" of that which didn't really belong to "you" in the first place.

Two - this country was founded by people who also brought over Spaniards, Blacks, etc. it was founded by these people. this is what makes America.

Three - two countries surround america. one is canada. the other is mexico. the fact that our children will learn Spanish is not RIDICULOUS. it's logical. i'm sure people in China aren't learning spanish. It just makes sense.

"You're in America, speak English" - ugh. i hate this mentality. hey! go to Italy or France and speak that language. move over there right now. and learn it. yeah. not so easy. especially when English is as fucked up as it is. as a child, i used to go to the church with my grandmother to her English classes. i used to drink coffee out of those little solo cups and stick my fingers in the creamer. and she used to sit there and struggle. struggle to learn all these rules and agreements of the language. but she did it. can she speak conversational english? no. I have sat and learned Italian and Sign Language. can i hold my own in a conversation? not exactly. but since "America" is made up of blacks, spanish, asians, english i find it hard to pick one language and say "this is the exclusive language of the United States."

"they're taking our jobs" - oh, i'm sorry! i didn't realize you wanted to pick up trash for a living. my bad! i didn't know you wanted to be the dishwasher, hotel cleaning lady, sanitation worker. i'm sorry. NEVER EVER EVER has someone lost their job as a medical doctor to an immigrant. bottom line - if you want the job - go out there and get it. don't blame any other person for your lack of employment. these immigrants come over here and WORK HARD to get these shit jobs. and do they complain? hell no. do you hear them saying they should be able to be a nurse? no. they just want to get their foot in the door and provide a better life for their children. and those children turn around (present company included) and strive to become medical doctors. Immigrants are the very BACKBONE of this country. and hey! while we're on the topic of jobs, why don't you get on the Government's case about outsourcing to other countries. how many times have i called sprint and been re-routed to India? fuck you America for having available jobs and sending them elsewhere. Do you understand how very corrupt the nation you defend is, when it comes to JOBS? what's our damn unemployment rate? and instead of saying "hey, let's work on this" we create jobs for other countries?? you know why? IT'S CHEAP!!!! don't point the finger at the worker who gets the job. they're just trying to make a buck. point the finger at the government who wants to pay their workers less and will go to ANY MEANS to have that happen.

Understand that America is, indeed, a great country. understand that it is made up NUMEROUS people - walks of life, color of skin, etc. And along the way, this government has tried to keep so many people down. Including WOMEN. remember that?

Point is - we have to understand that just because we are born here doesn't mean that we are superior. Even those who were, still have had to fight for their rights. So don't slap someone on the hand and tell them to go back to "their country" just because they're trying to do the same. and if they need to go back, they should take what they brought with them as well. so that means YOU should get your shit and go. Understand that this VERY NATION is nothing but a bunch of immigrants. your ancestors are immigrants.

so get off your high horse. the very people who you stepped on to get there, are fighting for their rights today!

"If you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners corrupted from infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded, sire, but that you first make thieves and then punish them?" - drew barrymore, in Ever After

and with that...

Seacrest out

i fake it so real, i am BEYOND fake. and some day, you will ache like i ache

2006-04-29T01:46:00.000-07:00

i swear i can't make up half the crap that happens to me. Thursday was supposed to be a promising day. i've had a shit week. stress. school. bills. getting dumped via TEXT MESSAGE. thursday would be the GOOD DAY! was it? NOPE! first off, my LO got pulled from the scrap gallery. i just don't think they're ready for this jelly. Anyway, i try to keep the scrap stuff off of here. but i had a sh'load of emails asking me for a link to my LO. So HERE IT IS mainly because i can't respond to 45 emails a day. it's been fantastic knowing that i am being supported. and after about 100+ emails i've found a few that really struck a chord with me and i will cherish forever. I'm no artist. i'm just trying to capture life. and if you know me. you know that it's crazy. if you don't know me... well, here you go!!!

So, Thursday i had to give a big presentation for my Microbiology class on HIV/AIDS. I'm running late, as usual, and i'm rushing to class, when all of a sudden...
sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip! what the heck?! i fell in a big puddle of mud! i can't make this up! it happened. This is at 9:01am. My presentation was supposed to start at 9:00. my purse contents are all over the place. my nicely typed papers are covered in mud. i have mud all over my legs, arse, arms, hands, forehead (please don't ask how that happened cause i don't know) so i had to give my speech in front of everyone. covered in mud.

this is what my pants looked like. and if you look closely, you can see all the mud on my shoes. It was horrible. and the girls that were out smoking when i fell, kept asking if i was hurt. "Just my pride"

So i get to class and hold out my muddied up hands and my Prof is like "holy cow! go wash up quickly"

I come back and give my speech. yada yada. i still have mouth ulcers so i had to Orajel-it-up. which resulted in numbness and excessive saliva production. i was probably up there slobberin' as well. hpmh.

After class, i decide i'm going to run back to Amarillo to pay my cell phone bill because it's been shut off for two days. and i can't take it anymore. and then i hit up Barnes and Noble, pick up the book i'd ordered and drink me a nice mocha-something-frappa-latte-thingamajigger. I end up getting side tracked by all the art books and "New Arrivals" table. then it's time to go home to take a quick "post-mud" shower before going to my biology lab.

I'm calling the boss at OG, "i'm going to be late for my 5 o'clock shift" and i say "dave, i'll be late. and i have to let you go, because i'm getting pulled over" Mind you, i just paid off those damn warrants, so i'm flippin' out because the lady had told me to keep the receipt "just in case" Can i find it in the mess that is my car? hell no. what about driver's license and registration? nope. What did i get a ticket for? Expired registration. no driver's license. no proof of insurance. sigh. i really need to get my shit straight.

I go home to take a shower. defeated. yes, chriselda, this day CAN get worse. and did it? YES! on the way to school i hit another damn bird. feathers flew everywhere. blood and birdie guts all over my hood. i have a thing for birds. and "the bird" haha!

Get to school. realized i've forgotten my Identification of Unknown Bacteria Handout. lordy lord. it's due at 5pm. yeah, so i found it. finished it. My bacteria was "Klebsiella Planticola" in case you were all wondering.

then i had to work.

nice.

this weekend is payday weekend. but i'm already broke. it's 4am here. and i'm up scrappin' and bloggin. school ends in two weeks. sigh. then life begins. but!!! pickler is gone!!! hallelujah! Lunch date this week with someone that i think i'm sorta interested in. known him for a few years. it's been weird. i'm old. old for this.

gawd, sometimes i humor even MYSELF

2006-04-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

I created quite a ruckus with my Untouchable Face Layout over on the Two Peas Message Board
i have no apologies for the themes i chose to scrap. i am a walking Parental Advisory label. but still, i was surprised that the outcome of yesterday's mess was an awesome group of women who supported the art of scrapbooking regardless what you're doing. so long as you're real. just when i was losing faith in the two pease clan... they go and do this!! LOVE IT!

Next - here are some random IMing conversations with my friends who shall remain anonymous
Brynne: i haven't seen Beaches or Steel Magnolias
Me: what?! how does this happen? did your mom lock you up in a room??
B: yes, and my sisters would sneak bread under the door for me!!

Me: i feel pretty. oh so pretty
Tina: lol
Me: girl, i'm so fat i can't even suck it in anymore
T: tell me about it. (insert vomitting smiley) <- that's what i should be doing! T: i think i have a tuma. that's what makes me look so heavy
Me: it's not a tuma (RAK to the person who can tell me what that's from!!)
Me: dammit! i hate it when i laugh so hard i pee. damn post childbirth bladder
T: yup. i've had it since i was 16
Me: i need some depends. i'm about to go strap on one of laken's diapers
T: i used a diaper when my water broke once.
Me: the other day at work i couldn't shake that "not so fresh" feeling pissed me off!
T: you're stupid!
Me: i'm serious... it was in the pitular region. you know, the pits!! BAN BODY ODOR!
T: my cat had kittens. and my other one is pregnant. damn hoochies! the boy cats come wait at the door for them...
Me: who are they getting knocked up by?
T: there are too many to know
Me: remember that time you dogsat for me and daisy came back and performed oral sex on pekeens?? what are you teaching your pets??

thank gawd for instant messengers.... (ok, maybe not so anonymous after all.. teehee)

Also had a short photoshoot with Jessica, my roommate. You can see her photos by clickin' here. It was about ten minutes long and i totally jacklifted Amby's whole railroad tracks thing. but ours have no trees. in fact, i'd be hard pressed to find a tree in amarillo, period. So they are boring. not as good as i'd like but ok, given the circumstances.

anyway, toodle-loo i'm going to bed. sigh

lately i...

2006-04-24T01:52:00.000-07:00

* have been staying up at all hours of the night. last night i was up until 6am scrappin' away.

* have been so stressed i have several mouth ulcers (and it sucks to get TABASCO SAUCE ON THEM!!!!)

* have been staring at a stack of CJs about 2 feet tall. April... it's coming!! CJ NAZI

* have been commenting on my "friends" myspace pages. gawd i hate myspace. but i'm bored at 4am.

* have been playing with photoshop like mad! i took this photo of myself the other night after coming home from the "Dollar Store" I was a bit tipsy even though i had only had two drinks. This is because i'm doing the whole ATKINS thing and had no carbs to soak up the alcohol. I then proceeded to play with PS until i got something i liked. this is what i came up with! love this now! wish i looked that skinny all the time.

* have been waiting tables at OG. i usually don't. i just run food. but i worked a double Sunday and when one lady snapped at me during "church rush" lunch hour, i felt like saying, "HEY! that's not very Christian-like!" just to throw her off. people don't have to be ugly to me just because i'm a lowly waitress... i am doing something with my life you jackholes!

* have been wanting to spend time with my little sissies but when i called Saturday night to see if she wanted to go dancing, her mom told me she had moved back to Dallas. WTF? But, we had a bday party at the Dollar Store for Amy's boyfriend. About three girls that work there went to high school with me. How ambitious.

(side note, the term "Dollar Store" is a phrase coined by amy. think about it. a club that would require lots of dollars.) Anyway, funny story. one of the guys in our group really liked this HAWT gothic girl. amy and i befriended her in the loo. anyway, at work sunday night i saw a girl that looked familiar. and i told one of the guys she looked familiar. and then BAM it hit me... she looked like the girl from the toiley. He said, "go ask" and i said "i can't go ask her that. she's with her parents!!" and then told him that if she'd simply take her shirt off and i could decide. haha!

* have been developing a thick, southern, texas accent. very similar to Pickler's. I say naaace (nice), how are y'all do-in, awlright, and awwwwced teh (iced tea). Not to mention that i yelled out "William, can you tea bag me?!" today when i had to get hot tea for a lady. working in a restaurant is so raunchy. it's effin' summer psychos! don't order soup. don't order hot tea. especially not when it's 80 outside.

* have seemed to pick up smoking again. not a big deal. i've had a few over the course of a couple of weeks. and i know stress isn't an excuse. so, i'll put this one out there. i went to the convenience store and found a lighter that said "the ONLY reason i date men inferior to me is BECAUSE that's the only KIND there are." and i had to buy it. so i got some cigarettes to go along with it.

* have been seriously falling head over heels in love with my son. He's getting a little more interactive and playful and just darn cute. this is the fun age. love this kid!!

* have been avoiding school work. argh. i have so much crap to do.

so, with that being said... i'm off like a prom dress!

4 pounds down. 46 more to go....

wtf?

2006-04-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

what the hell happened last night on American Idol??? my Ace Yum is gone. and i'll be the first to say that he was suckin' lately. but c'mon... ELLIOT YAMIN is still there??? he stayed and Ace left? Pickler is still there? what the eff?? i got several phone calls after the show ended. everyone knows how much i liked this cat. when he was on... he was ON!!! dammit! and now i have to put up with Elliot and "what's a ballsy?" Might as well bring back chicken little while you're effin' at it...

if Katherine McPhee doesn't win this thing... i will never watch another season.

and raina, i'm holding YOU personally responsible for this due to your dirty comments on my AI post about ace! and even the judges commented on chris's make up. bwahahaha. i so thought of you when they mentioned it. LOOK WHAT YOU DID RAINA!!!! i'm not stalking you anymore until you post a tribute about him on your blog. (yes, that's a threat!)

What doesn't kill you, only makes you wish you were dead...

2006-04-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

so, i keep seeing these everywhere because Scott had it on his blog to start with. I think if he scrapbooked... he'd be the perfect man. bwahaha! anyway, because i secretly want to be just like him...

1. Never in my life: have i seen "The Goonies" or "The Wizard of Oz" and it wasn't until a couple of years ago that I watched "Willy Wonka" or "Snow White." i know. i know...

2. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile: the human population in general. i smile easy. and i get annoyed easy.

3. High School was: such a blur. and so long ago.

4. When I'm nervous: my upper lip starts twitching and i lose control of mouth movement. it's very similar to those Anime shows. where you see their mouths moving but there is no way it matches what they are saying...

5. My hair: hurts. i have thick hair. and when it is time for a haircut, i can tell because it starts weighing down and hurting. then i go and have it cut and thinned. nice.

6. When I was 5: shoved a rock up my nose to see if it would fit. i got a bloody nose and then yelled at. I was remembering this the other night. i don't think i remember it ever coming out. maybe it's morphed into some memory sucker on my brain...

7. Last Christmas: i gave you my heart. but the very next day. you gave it away. this year, to save me from tears... i'll give it to someone special... tee hee!

8. When I turn my head left, I see: out my living room window and into my neighbor's mini greenhouse. I lovingly call her "the plant lady" because she has tons of them!

9. I should be: studying for physics and chemistry. (how interesting that my answer was the same as Jocelyn's. - add Genetics to that mix as well, please)

10. When I look down I see: my cell phone being charged. and my fat belly saying "Babies!!! i EAT BABIES!!!"

11. Craziest most recent event: almost being thrown in jail. twice. HANDS DOWN!

12. If I were a character on Friends I'd be: Rachel. skinny bitch. this is who i'd want to be. but i'd probably consider myself most like Joey. kinda dumb, out of the loop, and just here for the food!

13. I have a hard time understanding: most things in life. i think i overanalyze things. this is why i envy laken's ability to just love it all. i dissect, study, and poke at things to find WRONG with everything... such a pessimist/cynic/realist

14. Take my advice: figure out who you are. and deal with it.

15. My ideal breakfast is: a piece of cold pizza and a nice, cold Dr. Pepper. i'm real big into breakfast foods. but if i could eat lunch all day... i would.

16. If you visit the place I grew up: you would be extremely bored of the "home of the ding dong daddies" and ask to be excused from this field trip should it ever occur again...

17. If you spend the night at my house: i'd let you sleep on my bed because i'm so nice. i'll even wash the sheets before you come in just to be courteous. However, as Brynne can confirm, those sheets very rarely make it onto the bed before you end up sleeping in it. haha!

18. I'd stop my wedding if: i ever had one doubt in my mind that it was wrong. been there done that. and didn't stop it. i should've known it was a bad idea to get married when i wrecked my car on the way there, vomitted once i got to the site, couldn't say the vows because my Japanese Anime mouth was going 100 miles a minute... but NO! i still got married. and 5 years later i'm here talking about my NEXT wedding/marriage.

19. The world could do without: pantyhose. late fees. Dubya. the requirement to learn physics and calculus just to become a doctor. Skinny people with fast metabolisms. Dr. Phil.

20. Most recent thing you've bought yourself: a ticket out of jail...

21. Most recent thing someone else bought for you: a ticket out of jail.... the Maternal unit paid. but oh lord is she the BEST bill collector ever! there goes saving my decaying teeth...

22. My favorite blonde is: what?? hmmm. i dunno. Jenny McCarthy. Pfab. AmberNichole. Megan D. Amy Hart. K-lala. Raina. Brynne, are you blonde? oh lord. i really can't do this right now...

23. My favorite brunette is: myself. duh!

24. The last time I was drunk was: oh lord. please scroll down to a post below. nuf said..

25. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: i hate flying animals. they always find their way into my windshield or front bumper. and because of this very reason, i think the animal population would be much safer if either A) they didn't fly or B) i didn't drive...

26. I shouldn't have been: so stupid to think that this would all work out.

27. Last night I: spit water out all over the place when Ace on American Idol said he was going to "Take it all night" Guess that confirmed the gay question.

28. There's this girl I know who: who takes on too much because she is ignorant about her boundaries and therefore, honestly, deserves every bit of chaos and insanity in her life. this girl can't ever figure out which end is up and is never clear on anything in her life. there is nothing stable. nothing solid. she is wishy washy. she has ADD. she is flaky. indifferent. and just flat out crazy. because she can't get her shit straight. because she doesn't know how. because every decision she makes is ultimately a bad one. and they just keep on a'coming. and she knows this. but doesn't know how to fix it. and it's too late. hows that for social work??

29. I don't know: what is going to happen. and i find some sick pleasure in that...

Road Closed Ahead... please use detour...

2006-04-18T11:46:00.000-07:00

turn it up. i found a new band and if you haven't already heard of Belly - you should check them out. they are my video over to the side. great stuff. rather "refreshing"

oh and... i highly recommend that you head on over to these gals blogs to see the following things that make me piddle my britches...

American Idol Drinking Game...

and

Jew Dogs...

two funny gals that really deserve a "WHAT UP!!!" maybe your commenting would encourage them to come out of blog hiding and humor us all with their crazy wit.

i give them my personal vote!! bwhahahaha. cracks me up!

Wasted away again...

2006-04-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

soooooo. because my last post included my LO for the New Dare, and because KAT'S post about drunkeness and passing out... i was reminded me of all the insane moments of being drunk and why i stopped drinking like that.

For starters, i've been drinking since i was 14. my friend (and current roommate) Jessica and i used to sneak Zimas with lime. it was awesome. One time we went out to the park and i was so toasted and was riding the Teeter Totter with a friend and decided i was "done with that" so i jumped off. He came crashing down and was totally pissed.

After years of drinking and finally becoming "legal," i decided i was "done with that" because all of my interesting stories started off with "One time when i was drunk..." and it was depressing. i drank my youth away.

** Amy and i got drunk on the lawn of my apartment complex's Maintenence guy. We were both minors, and he was totally CONTRIBUTING, and we passed out in the lawn until the sprinklers went off the next morning. Not good.

** Falling asleep while dancing a slow country song... is very possible. Getting asked for a second dance after doing that, was very impossible.

** That same night, my friends drove me home and we had to stop to get gas. Since i was clearly unable to operate flammables, they sent me in to pay. Somewhere between "i need $10 on pump five" and "here's your receipt," i managed to pass out on the counter. i guess the guy just stood there not knowing what to do and my friends came in to rescue me. (or him)

** Of course, i got drunk and passed out at IHOP when brynne was in town. started yelling about wheat noodles.

** I wrecked my car one night. and since it was still under my mom's name and i was only 18, i freaked out thinking she would be pissed. This was the night i hit a recliner. Yes, it's a true story. (I have pictures and a Layout to prove it) Afterward, i got completely drunk off a bottle of tequila. I was 100% sober before i got home. but tried to medicate myself with the worm! I ended up completely trashed, trying to stablize myself on a water bed, sitting in my own vomit, falling into the laundry basket, and taking swigs straight from the bottle - no chaser, and spitting chewed up pieces of chocolate into my friend's mouth. All this happened while we were being filmed in all of our stupidity. I was hungover for TWO WEEKS!! i'm not kidding.

** Then i got drunk when i was around 22 at a radio station function. I was working for the station that was hosting an "Unplugged" and being a radio personality always meant someone was willing to buy you drinks. I was in "uniform" and after a shot of tequila, i failed to take it like a man, and turned my head and just vomitted all over myself. I didn't even gag. i just opened my mouth and out it came. That night ended with me getting into a fight with an oak tree because my friends told me i was a power puff girl and that it was Mojo Jojo! cruelty!

** then there was the time i got trashed. and pregnant.

i don't drink much these days...

2006-04-14T10:40:00.000-07:00

i try not to make posts about scrapbooking because i really don't want this blog to be about that. but, it is a part of my life and i'm soooooo out of things to say. So, here you go! First off, i've been in a slump (creatively speaking) so some of these make me happy, some don't. but nonetheless... i've been CREATING! and that feels good, no matter what the outcome!

This is for the newest Dare. You have to fill in the blank "Real Women ___" and then this happened. i found an old intoxicated picture of myself. i'm not really proud of it, but passing out at TGIFridays and being photographed doing so (along with a number of other crazy things) is something that i can look back on and realize i'm glad i'm past this stage. this used to be what i LIVED for! and while i wasn't very good at being publicly drunk, i was still a woman under all that, just learning her way around life. and now, i still pass out at IHOP but it's more because i'm old and can't hang! WHERE ARE MY WHEAT NOODLES?!

this is for Sarah's RED CJ. this was so much fun and i wish i could keep this amazing CJ. it looks much better in person, i promise, this picture does the colors no justice. and i changed my photo to colored pencil in photoshop. which added a nice touch. too bad it looks crappy here...

this LO is a result of my mom harping on my parenting skills the other day. it really hurt to hear that i'm not doing a good job like i could be doing. and that just might be true. but i have to remind myself that i'm doing this super human job for the very first time alone. and that while i'm not perfect at being a mommy, that my son is taken care of, loved, and truly my blessing. He is my life and nobody can or SHOULD ever tell me differently. I am ...

laken and i spent the day wednesday running around town. we went to the Botanical Gardens which weren't so botanical. didn't really offer much for photos but i did get this shot of laken seriously studying his shadow and the sidewalk. i love this picture! wanted to keep the focus on it. so this was simple. i love my white pen (THANKS TRACI!) and that paper is GAWGEOUS in person. i wish i could believe in the small things the same way laken does...

And last, but certainly not least. i want to (ahem) apologize for being such a bad friend. This tag is for my girl Jen who's birthday was so long ago that we're counting down for the next one already! I organized a little tag doodad thing for her and then never posted my own tag. She designs Tshirts, so i though we should all make her T-shirt tags. Not sure if you ever got any of these, Jen. i offered to send them out for everyone, and saw plenty of them on 2ps but nobody ever sent them to me. wasn't sure if you ever got any. Anyway, this will be in the mail Monday so you can read my little "birthday wish." hahaha!

ok - now, something non-scrap related - the Cute boy from the gay bar, who i thought might just be a "GO" turned out not to be so great. When i left work the other night (i work right by a strip club) i saw his car leaving and he pulled out behind me. This was on a Monday night!!! Who goes to the Jiggly on a monday night?? "I have to go to church" my ass... NEXT!!!

have a Hoppy Easter Everyone!

alright... i confess!

2006-04-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

so you nosy people keep asking what i had a warrant out for.

Yes, they were actual warrants for me. there was no mistake. it's a little known secret that i'm a wanted hoodrat. under all this scrapbooking, photography, art, literature, mommyhood, acting, pre-medical studies, and whatnot lies a hardened criminal.

Just kidding. I got some tickets in 1999 that i have failed to show up and plea in court for. but... it's over. $1114.90 later. but it's OVER. and i didn't have to wear yucky orange. Although, the court isn't very accomodating and demanded payment in full or else i would get shipped to county for 12 days. Hope some cop is enjoying his donut allowance courtesy of my freedom...

Now... I feel the need to talk about American Idol. because i'm at a loss of things to talk about!

I'm going to come down hard on these people. But please know that i am fully aware of KARMA and that my teeth are falling out because i pick on people. but - these things have to be said...

Kelly Pickler - I start with her because she is the most annoying of the entire group. "What's a ballsy?" C'mon. someone please... do something! Everyone is annoyed with her and every time she opens her mouth i'm like, oh GAWD here it comes! and... her fascination with pickles drives me batty.

Taylor Hicks - yuck. i haven't liked this guy from the get go. He irritates me. I call him "Rainman" because that's who he reminds me of. I get a nervous tick when i watch him perform. he's so pathetic and when he tried to kick over the mic stand and it didn't work i just wanted to jump through the television and tell him to give it up.

Elliot Yamin - please. can we do something about the teeth? i hate this guy. i can't watch him sing. seriously, when he comes on, i have to close my eyes or walk out of the room. Just plain annoying. And i think he sucks and the judges won't say anything bad about him. c'mon.

Paris - yeah. Next. if i hear her say "thank you" one more time in her little girl voice, i'm going to puke. I think she'd go further if she didn't win this competition. i'm hoping she doesn't cause i really don't want to see her all over the place. i'm already on paris overload. and can she please pick a style and stick with it? just because she can get new hair every week doesn't mean she should...

Bucky - i liked the sexy rasp in his voice. but he needed to go just because he (along with Pickler) were really turning this show into "Redneck Idol" as my friend Amy says. Not sad he's gone. and while i'm at it - i'm not sad Mandisa is gone either.

Chris Daughtry - yeah. sexy beast of a man. but yeah, can he do something that wouldn't require headbanging or strobe lights??? and! he wears so much make up that i'm starting to question a thing or two... But, I also think that he would go further if he DIDN'T win. i don't think he will... but i still think getting into the top 3 or so would be better for him.

Ace Young - or Ace "Yum" as i like to call him. why oh why has he been sucking lately? as soon as he brings it again, he's going to be fantastic. And this is totally irrelevant, but Prince is going on tour this summer!!! I only said that because he is one of Ace's idols. No! I don't surf the AI website... And can someone please tell me he's not gay??

Katherine McFee - i absolutely LOVE this girl!!! i've got my money on her. and just because i think she is the best flippin' thing to be on television since Sex and the City. She's too cute and i think will go far. and win this competition. Mark my words!!!

the judges - what the hell is randy talking about. ever?
and can someone please find the alcohol stash in paula's dressing room and nix it? Heeeeey Dummies!
Simon - why is it when someone tells the truth and actually SAYS something worth listening to, he gets booed??? Although, i could do without the baby gap tees and nipples that could cut through glass... but next to the other two, i think he's rather REFRESHING!

ok... i'm delusional - but it IS 2am.

seacrest out!

i swear i can't make this stuff up....

2006-04-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

things happen to me. it's insanity. that's why my blog title is Insanity Here. cause that's all my life is... insanity... here!!!

so, laken has been sick for the past few days. got a fever that i couldn't break and he stopped walking, talking, eating, playing. he did nothing. he just wanted to lie on my chest and sleep all day.

so... thursday and friday he got sent home from daycare with fever. now they won't let him go back until he gets a release from a doctor. That's on my list of things to do today...

Brynne came into town Saturday and we tried to watch meaningless TV and fry our brains. We ate Olive Garden and then went to the play. After that, we went to dance and get our drink on. BUT!!!! we had to eat Sonic burgers beforehand which made it impossible to drink because we were stuffed. Which ultimately resulted in very little dancing because we can't do it sober. But, i did meet a guy. but i knew it was too good to be true. He was a GORGEOUS straight guy at a gay bar that had beautiful eyes, and had to leave because he had to get up early for church the next morning. ???? yeah. i'm pretty sure i was sober. and awake. but he couldn't have been real.

And... the play is over. Finito. Gone. No more. and i'm sad. Saturday night i almost cried because i knew we only had one more shot at it. one more go.Sunday afternoon rolls around, brynne left right before the Matinee showing. I had to go to get in costume and get my wigs on. So, i'm on my merry way and two miles away from the theater.... i see a cop flash his lights. Shit.

So i hand him my license blah blah... and he goes to his car. I pick up the phone, tell the girl doing my hair that i'm running late and will be there as soon as i get my ticket. The cop comes back to the car says
"Yeah, i'm going to need for you to step out of the car."
"ooooooooooooook???"
"Go ahead and step out of the car"
So i get out... all baffled thinking, he can search my car if he wants... i don't have drugs. Is it because i'm a mexican??
"Ma'am, there is a warrant for your arrest and i'm going to need to take you to jail now."
"What?"
"Go ahead and turn around so i can handcuff you."
"No. I can't. And i know this isn't your problem. But i have to be in a play in an hour and a half"
"You're right. It's not my problem"
"Can you arrest me afterward? There's no understudy. You can come watch the show. I'll gladly go afterward."
(I swear i did think this was rational, logical thinking)
"No ma'am. I'm on duty. I can't go to a play..."
"But but"
Policeman shifts his weight from side to side just watching me break down. and i'm thinking "he's going to think i'm acting!!!" So i let the waterworks begin!! And not because i was trying to get out of it. But because i was so freaked out about going to jail. being handcuffed. missing the show. So i am bawling. begging. and i tell him i need to call and at least let them know i am not going to be there.
"if you have your cell phone you can call. and i'm going to have your car impounded"
"no sir!! please, i can't afford that."
"alright, if you can have someone here in 10 minutes to get it, i won't call"
So i'm on the phone with my roommate. then i call the lady doing my hair and she says "You're not getting arrested are you...." before she even said "hello." I tell her yes and she is like HOLY SHIT! Just so happens... the theater's attorney was there getting his tickets for the show when all this happened and he comes to my rescue. The cop seemed annoyed when i told him an attorney was coming and he said that it wouldn't do any good and he was still going to haul me off. Mr. Lawyer tries to talk him out of it. and the cop is set.
"i'm taking her to jail."
sob sob sob
"how long will it take to get her out?"
and then the cop says if we pay my fines he would just take me downtown to the clerk and i'd pay and leave. So Mr. Lawyer opens his wallet. "How much is it?" the cop is on the phone and blah blah. five minutes later, he comes out of his car... "Chriselda....."
oh shit. i walk over and Mr. Lawyer follows me. He looks at me and says
"are you her attorney?"
i look at the stranger standing next to me and he says "yes!"
"make sure she's in court Monday getting this taken care of and i'll let her go to her play. here's your WARNING for speeding. you're free to go"
and now i'm sobbing again...
i walk into the theater crying like a baby. and everyone is just rushing over to help me. It felt like such a Miss Congeniality moment when sandra bullock walks in without her makeup guy and they all rush over to help. sigh. i love my theater family. i was safe.

the show went well. i surprisingly pulled it together and did my thing. then we had to strike the set. which if you don't know what that means... it means tear it all down. and i bawled watching my little Cuba and cigar factory get broken down into 2x4s and plywood. Cried as i hauled piles of trash to the dumpster. piles of tobacco leaves, props we wouldn't use again, pieces of the set we couldn't reuse... and i thought "how do you just throw it all away???" and just as quickly as this play came into my life... it is gone. it is over. and i'm sad and lonely all over again. all over again.

When i was standing still just staring at the tumbling walls, someone asked "what are you doing." and i said... "dying. I'm dying and coming back to Chriselda's life..." And i don't know what to do with myself now. i guess it's back to being me. which might be strange since i haven't done it in two months...

Theater of the Day:
"I don't try to understand everything they say. I let myself be taken. The story enters my body and i become the second skin of the characters." - Marela

"Actors surrender. They stop playing themselves and they give in. You would have to let go of yourself and enter the life of another human being..." - Conchita

Lights down.....

ok - i can do this!

2006-04-06T22:02:00.000-07:00

I got to be Meredith Grey for a few hours on Wednesday. that was fantastic! i went in for my surgery rotation and got a change to be an observer in a surgery. And guess what i freakin' saw????

ABDOMINALPLASTY!!! (a tummy tuck) As i tell this story, i'm surprised how many people don't know what it is. So let me tell you... a big piece of your love handle gets CUT OFF of your body and tossed on a table next to a pre-med student. It was the most amazing thing ever to see a large piece of human flesh, muscle, and blood, just lying there next to me. So awesome! I am soooooo going to cut people open for a living.

and... i'm sooooo going to hop on a treadmill every chance i get.

Speaking of. My mom called and told me about all these cleansing pills she bought me and a book for me to start my weight loss program. Said "as soon as this play is over, you can start focusing on yourself again." Nice, eh? Well, if you're mom can't tell you you're fat, then who can? But seriously, i already knew i had weight issues. And i won't even say "i don't know why i'm getting fat" because i do. it's the greasy burgers and Schnitz i am eating in the middle of the night. not good. pretty soon, it's going to be my love handle lying on the blue cloth.

but, right now i have to go, because i'm craving some honey nut cheerios.

it's already been brought-it!

2006-04-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

In case any of you were wondering... i did well opening weekend. it's not a big deal to me anymore because i've done this for 5 weeks already. so doing it the last three nights was like doing it again... with an audience.

i wasn't nervous, which was surprising. but like i've said a million times, honestly, "i'm too tired to be nervous."

Thursday was our first night, but the actual opening was Friday night. My family chose to go on Friday night. Complete with a couple of aunts, my little brother, and my parents. That was... interesting.

For starters, this play won the Pulitzer Prize for best drama in 2003. DRAMA!!! read that again. this play is full of it too! there is cheating, lying, rape, drunkenness, murder, and sex in this show.

My character just so happens to have sex. On a table. So there i am, with my legs wrapped around this guy and ... he's doing his thang... and my mom and aunt are like "do we watch? or look away?" haha! People have come up to me after the show in the Meet and Greet and said things ranging from "you are so beautiful" to "nice performance you dirty girl" to "you're grounded!" I mean... i MAKE OUT in front of a room full of people. and this is from a girl who hates PDA and who's friends have NEVER seen her kiss someone. And there i was... dry humping!

We had a nice reception Friday night. I got three dozen flowers! My friends are awesome! And this huge bouquet of roses is from the man who plays my husband (yes, i'm a cheating whore). He bought it for all the girls in the show but everyone left afterward and there sat this obscenely gorgeous bouquet. Melanie said she would take it home but had cats, so i said i'd take it. Nice, eh?

This week i have four performances. Thursday thru Sunday. phew. and then it's over. and i'm sad. because i spent four days a week with these people. and now... nothing. hmph.

BUT!!! may you all be witnesses to this - I AM GOING TO GET BACK ON TRACK!

having my nights back, i vow to the following:

dig through the war zone that has become my room. everything on the bed is clean. the stuff on the floor is dirty. and i'm disgusting. i can't believe i am putting this out there for all of you to see. but i am a slob. at least, i have been for the last 5 weeks. now that i have my nights back... i will be clean again! and laundry will actually hang in the closet before it's dirty again.

i vow to take my fat butt to the gym. seriously. i'm getting out of control. "you're not faaaaaaaaaaaaaaat" my ass! i can't even squeeze mine into denim anymore without cutting the circulation off at the waist. and it's disgusting.

i vow to read my school books and do homework at home. it's not WORKwork.

i vow to start reading an extra-curricular book again. and scott, this means Eleanor Rigby will be finished this week. sigh. broke diaries.... here we come!

i vow to reorganize my bills, budget, and ... in general LIFE.

and last but certainly not least... i vow to learn to walk with my son. he's been walking since Tuesday and while i've enjoyed every second of it, i've failed to really RELISH in the simple pleasure of getting from point A to point B in the same manner that he does. So, now, we will be at the parks again. we will be walking, exploring, and playing. I am ready to get back to mommyhood and really WATCHING my son.

The first steps a baby takes... are into your heart!

Ready to be Chriselda again. Conchita, it's been nice! Really nice! but i'm ready to have my life back. and ready for it to BRING IT ON!!!!

it's all in the numbers....

2006-03-30T10:13:00.000-08:00

so, thought i would give you an update of my life in ... NUMBERS!!!

8 - number of years it has been since my last dentist appointment.

2- number of teeth i will be LOSING due to decay. Apparently, it's almost to the nerve and i will need to have it cleaned, which might result in a ROOT CANAL and more than likely will result in CROWNS!

4 - number of teeth that will be pulled from my mouth. this consists of all four of my wisdom teeth which are impacted and must be removed by an oral surgeon.

2 - number of cavities i have in other teeth that will also need fillings.

1 - percent chance that, since i have a wisdom tooth straddling the nerve they numb when extracting them, damage will be done to the nerve resulting in PERMANENT LOWER LIP PARALYSIS

Several - number of teeth i will lose should i choose to forego wisdom teeth extraction mentioned above...

0 - number of whitening products i am allowed to use since my teeth are highly sensitive. this means no whitening toothpaste, gels, strips, or trays.

4 - number of teeth currently suffering from my receding gums. 2 of which have their root exposed.

5000 - number of dollars it will approximately cost me to get my mouth and teeth back up to par.

1 - girl who seriously believes in karma at this point because she constantly rags on people with ugly teeth. said person is me, chriselda, owner of this blog.

****
1 - number of years my son has been in this world. He turned one yesterday!!!

Too many - number of steps he independently takes around the house. He won't need me anymore!!!

3 - number of nights he will not be spending with me. sigh.

****

7 - number of shows i have starting tonight! eek!

50 - number of pounds i need to lose by tonight in order to avoid looking like a fat pig in the photos...

6 - number of pimples that have conveniently reared their ugly heads on my face

3 - number of lines that are about 5 words long that i always flub during rehearsal

very little - number of dollars i have in my bank account...

****

1 - very tired, stressed, confused, and mentally exhausted chic!!!

Anna in blogland...

2006-03-29T00:08:00.000-08:00

today is the last day that we have rehearsal before this show opens!!

this is our set. i have been so blessed to be such a part of this experience. i have seen this set go from an empty room to a couple of wood walls to paint and now this...

i don't know if any of you have ever done any acting, but it is a whole new world!!!

A few things: it has been hard to get into my character because she is happy, lost, sad, frightened, alluring, sexually invisible, and innocent from one scene to the next. I didn't know what "stage left" meant, what alot of the terms are. I knew nothing about the WORK that goes into all of this until i started it. Makes me appreciate acting so much more now. Even the bad actors get major KUDOS from me!!!

If you click here, you can see the photos from last night's dress rehearsal. I was the one taking the pics, so there aren't very many pics of me. Plus, i am sans-wig. I have two wigs in this show and because i have so much hair, and a big head, our hair guy is on the fritz trying to find a 'do for me. otherwise, it was pretty much character.

for those of you who don't know, the play is set in 1929, in a Cigar Factory, we roll cigars by hand and hire a "lector" to come in and read to us. He chooses Anna Karenina by Tolstoy - thus "Anna" in the tropics...

The first few photos you see are just of everyone getting into costume. Being in those dressing areas just made my day!!! Then you'll see some of the crew that does lighting and sound.

So, it's a Cuban family and our director/genius, Allen, decides we should get some dancers pre-show to set the mood. This dance is so sensual and soft and ... fantastic. i wish you could see it. i will have to have someone video tape it so you can get the idea. Anyway, this is the show setter. As soon as they end their dance, we start our first scene. Since i was on stage, i couldn't do any actual photography, so you won't see any of that until later.

We run the show like we're doing it in front of an audience. if we lose our lines, we have to drown in it and find our way back out. I LOST MY LINES IN EVERY SCENE LAST NIGHT. We all have to speak in Spanish accents. it's craziness i tell ya. it's sooooooo hard to stay in character. we get a break between acts and then at the end of the night we have to sit down in front of our director for "NOTES" This has been the hardest, yet BEST, part for me. This is when he critiques you in front of everyone else. And you have to take it. There have been nights when i've done a shit job and he tells me. There are nights when i am spot on but my accent went who-knows-where. He picks, pokes, jabs... and you have to take it. It's awesome.

That is our most serious part. I love the photos of all of us during this because you can tell how serious we are about our critiques. Love this!!!

i wish you could all see it. because i'm really proud of myself for doing this! and i want to officially thank my friend Jason, (Chester), for introducing theater to me. For asking me to audition and thus bringing me into this wonderful experience!! I love you this much and am soooooooooooo ready to get my "Conchita" on!!!

and i hope you all enjoy the pictures!!! i shall return to blogland when this is all over!!!!

status:

2006-03-24T10:32:00.000-08:00

this past week, i have done all of the following:

*tried on at least 15 dresses in the hopes of finding one that wraps around my lovely lady lumps. (in the back and in the front)
* left work to rush to rehearsal for a newspaper photo shoot, during which i couldn't get my mouth to stop twitching because i hate hate hate to be in FRONT of the camera
* gone through an emotional roller coaster because i am pretending to be someone else. i am tellin' ya. this acting thing is harder than it looks. it really makes me respect even the bad actors in hollywood.
* stayed awake until 4 am only to be up again at 7
* spent a night away from my son- which resulted in failing to take him to daycare the next morning because i missed him so much.
* realized my teeth are falling out
* bleached my teeth for a grand total of about 5 hours
* done two loads of laundry that are still sitting on the recliner waiting for hangers...
* developed a crick in my neck that made it almost impossible to drive for lack of the ability to turn my head.
* taken darvocet, hydrocodone, and 1200 mg of Ibuprofen to alleviate the pain of said crick
* read a book i am supposed to be reading for one of my classes
* realized i have a paper due on Sunday evening
* formed some sort of massive pimple on my face (see below)
* had to sit in front of a camera, yet again, for a head shot for the play
* ordered another pair of shoes for this show because the ones i originally ordered and JUST recieved were waaaaaay too big
* gone to the hospital three times to start Moc Doc rotations next week
* signed up for volunteer work at the United Way office out of sheer stupidity because i think i have all the time in the world...
* jam-packed my wednesday next week like a can of sardines: School 9-10am, hospital 11-2, dentist 230, laken time until 7 BECAUSE IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY!!!!!!, rehearsal 7-whenever...
* today i got two pricks. one for a TB test and the other for my Hepatitis B shot. holy hell that was freaky. i didn't realize she was going to JAB it into my arm though... but my tolerance for pain is ok so i am fine

i am so loopy. seriously. someone told me today that it was friday and i was like ".... oh YEAH! it is friday"

i went to get a breakfast burrito through the drive thru- and failed to drive thru. i just sat there until the lady said "ok, drive around" such a dumbass

but!!!! TODAY IS MY HALF BIRTHDAY... (so say "happy half birthday) and thanks alot for all forgetting it... some friends!

also... as promised, here is the link to our play "review" in the newspaper today! So ready for this baby to be done and over.

have a happy friday and i am MIA next week... it's because i'm insane. (and quickly realizing i am NOT wonderwoman!)

2006-03-23T14:32:00.000-08:00

ok... so i'm pretty brave putting myself out there like this. but here it is...

MY PIMPLE!!!!

not only did i get this thing the week before the play opens, but at 2 o'clock yesterday afternoon, my director called me and said "i forgot to tell you we have headshots for the play tonight. they will hang in the hall during the show, so you'll want to put your best face forward..."

why?! WHY ME?! soooooo, because i am completely gullible - i decided to put toothpaste on my face to dry it out.

can i just say - it DOESN'T WORK. and this thing is soooooo big that even concealer won't cover it up.

so i sat down to take my photo and asked the photographer to Photoshop it out. No biggie. i can do it. raina can do it. april can do it. And he said, "what? your mole?" and i gasped! It's not a mole! it's just a pimple the size of one. a couple of people suggested i should a put a dot of brown eyeliner on it and pass it off as a beauty mark. But don't you think people would get a little curious when i don't have it the night of the shows?

argh! so. such is life.

Next week - volunteering at the United Way. Starting my Moc Doctor rounds at the hospital! YAY! i have two rotations in Surgery which makes me feel very Meredith Grey.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand - because i am constantly ragging on people's teeth - i have bad karma!
i have been whitening mine for a while now and was flossing the other day when i realized it is very possible that i might have receding gum lines. My roots for two of my teeth are ALMOST exposed!!! i'm freakin' out. my teeth are going to fall out! So i have a dentist appt. next week as well. He's going to yank out all my teeth and replace them with horse teeth. (what i like to call fake teeth) I'm too young for dentures!

Then... ladies and gentleman - my play opens on Thursday. Seven showings over the next two weekends. I'm really excited and nervous and scared. Our newspaper ad comes out tomorrow... i'll try to provide a link if there is one!

love you all! i'm off to get some scrappin' done!

new look

2006-03-19T12:08:00.001-08:00

ok - so a few things here...

i figured it was about time for a new banner. don't like this one as much. but it's cool!!! sometimes i wish my computer would break - and i could stay away. then i realize how much i actually embrace the insanity that goes on in that little machine!

second - i have removed the links to your blogs because more people that i acutally know are reading this thing and have kinda started stalking you all. Sooooooo, i removed you for your own sake!! haha! I know you're on the world wide web - but i don't want an invasion of your privacy to be my fault... so. I have you listed on my BlogLines and will still be cruisin' by... but otherwise, i don't want to serve as an index.

thirdly - the photo from my last post is not mine. it was an email that i got. so i don't know if it is real or photoshopped.

ok - off to work. blech. hope you all enjoy the last of the weekend and HAPPY GREY'S ANATOMY DAY!!!!!