Just As i Am...

5.27.2006

what just happened?


*** did a guy that i sorta-dated earlier this year really come over to my house out of the blue this week and proceed to tear his long toenails off by hand and flick them onto my driveway?

*** did i really take my camera out with me to capture "mommy's night out" and forget to take my memory card with me? And did my friend pull one out of her purse and say, "it's your lucky day, because i have my memory stick with me, but not my camera" ??? not the right kind of memory card - so it didn't work. but, how do two grown women fail to have one complete camera in their purse?? it made me giggle.

*** when i was sitting on the toilet last night while my friend was making eggs in the kitchen, i saw a ginormous spider on the tub. so i yelled, "steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve, come kill this spider." i'm not afraid of spiders. but this one was brown and big. so i'm thinking, brown recluse. so i opt to endanger my friend instead. so i'm still sitting on the porcelain throne, doin' my business when he takes his shoe off and smashes it. then.... 20 or more BABY SPIDERS spew out of this thing!!! We killed a pregnant spider, y'all. oh, karma. i JUMPED off the toilet - my panties around my ankles and start screaming. yes. this is how it happened. it's funny now. but last night it was scary stuff.

*** i went to a birthday party for one of laken's friends. while i was there, i realized that i would be doing this for the next 10 years (at least) of my life. As the shock is setting in, i hear a little kid pitching a fit and screaming his head off and realize, I hate other people's kids. I love my son. don't get my wrong. but other people's kids. yeah, no thanks. and it's not so much the kid. kids will be kids. but parents that don't do anything about it, drive me insane. so maybe i don't like adults with kids. hmmmm. anyway, the point is: I'm not looking forward to ten years worth of birthday parties.

*** i was out watering the lawn in the morning. was bending over to grab the sprinkler when my roomie comes out screaming "chriselda nooooooooooooo" and she's laughing tears. and i said, "yeah i know my pants have a hole in them" as i'm reaching around to cover it up. and then i realize it's not a hole, it's a whole piece of material missing from my pants!! i swear to you it was HUGE! and i'm wearing a thong and i just exposed my crack to the neighborhood and all the people at the bus stop!

*** during happy hour on thursday, a random stranger with chunks of dip stuck in his teeth bought us a round of margaritas. then proceeded to tell us that we should have a camera follow us around beause we were hilarious. then some girl blurts out, "Are you staring at my titties!?" weirdest. thing. to. say. ever.

anyway, seriously folks. this shirt right here is FANFRIGGIN'TASTIC.
i must have it. used to be on team meredith until i had to watch her put out during the season finale. see, before it was ok. they were in love and whatever. but now that McCreepy chose she-shepherd over Addison, she knows his deal. and she still spread 'em. and for those of you who ask why she's considered a whore - here's the reason: broken penis guy. he who runs guys. mc dreamy. and gawd knows who else. even SHE knew she was whore. she took up knitting. argh. i am sooooo on team Addison.

19 Comments:

At 4:11 AM , Blogger Michelle W. said...

yay for Addison... (those other two makes me McSickToMyStomach)

sorry that I miss your call girl. Had to work earlier today. ugh.

I think those things only happens to you... Really...

 
At 6:22 AM , Blogger angieoh! said...

I am also Team Addison. I think he is McDirtball. I mean come on people!!!! blech.

You are totally nuts... The spider story, seriously gross and scary...I will probably have nightmares now. geesh.

You. Must. Come. To. Wisconsin. Now. (my subliminal message for the day)

 
At 7:49 AM , Blogger Barb said...

I don't go for cheaters or slimeballs or McSleezies, but I just can't bring myself to be on Team Addison. There's something about Mer-Der that I just can't tear my eyes away from.

The spider thing was way too gross! Just think, though, you've saved yourself from all those additional spiders in your house.

 
At 4:03 PM , Blogger island jen said...

OMG you are killin me!! the things that happen to you are freakin hilarious!

 
At 6:43 PM , Blogger BRANDY said...

LMAO...I so need one of those shirts...seriously! (I say "seriously" at least 30 times a day). I want to be on your team!

 
At 7:38 PM , Blogger Jill said...

I have been missing out on your blog chica! I have been kinda...tryin to think of a good word here...um, like a total FLAKE for a LONG TIME. I miss ya! :D

 
At 7:53 PM , Blogger justem said...

Pregnant spider? Ick ick ick!!! And personally I'm thinking maybe you made a lof of your neighbors happy by having a hole in your pants...especially if they are old...and male!

 
At 8:21 PM , Blogger Scott said...

I am on team Dr Bailey. She is the only one that seems to have her shit together!

Hope that all is well down there in Texas. It is going to be hot hot hot here the next few days!!

Scott

 
At 8:51 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

Oh my gosh, the funniest things happen to you.

 
At 11:22 AM , Blogger Valerie said...

You are just way too funny!! And the big spider with the babies...ewww..poor you!! I'm with you, I'm on team Addison!!

 
At 3:23 PM , Blogger gloria said...

Hey, I'm with ya on the kids thing. Problem is, kids LOVE me!!

Damn.

 
At 7:29 PM , Blogger Michelle McGee said...

I am in hysterics reading your post here!!! Every bit of it!

I hope you'll just pop over to mine and read my write up on "Anatomy of Grey's" because I feel the same way!!!

McDreamy will now be know to me as McDoggy or McDicky... and Meredith... well, she's just McWhore!

Gotta love those birthday parties!!!

Nice job!

 
At 9:07 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

lmao. i love it. only you.

 
At 9:55 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am on team Meredith...Sorry Chris! He still loves Meredith not her fault. We knew he still loved her when she was holding the bomb. I am all for the wife keeping her man for the other woman. I am living that. But when it is the woman who cheats, she loses!! I like McSteamy.....hotness!!

 
At 11:48 PM , Blogger caroline said...

LOL you are hilarious
and yeah. i think i'm on team addison too. whoo

 
At 6:46 AM , Blogger Leesa said...

I am still freaking about the spider thing.

 
At 8:07 AM , Blogger monica said...

That spider story freaked me out, same thing happened to me but with scorpions. EWWWWW!!!!

Thank god you're okay!!

Team Addison, I so want that shirt, where???

 
At 10:28 AM , Blogger sarah said...

sorry . . . another Team Meredith here. :P

Anyway...girl, the things that happen to you!
:)

 
At 9:29 AM , Blogger Jill H said...

i'm on Team Finn...come on, Chris O'Donnell?! love him. can't stand Meredith! i love that show!

lmao about the spider, i did that once too & about freaked me out seeing all the babies scatter!!!

and i'm not the biggest fan of other people's kids too...they drive me nuts sometimes!

 

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