Just As i Am...

5.03.2006

just another day in my crazy life...

ok. i've said it a million times before, and i'm here saying it again. "Things like THIS only happen to me..."

Weinerschnitzel - i had an episode at "the schnitz" the other night when i ordered a #2 value meal, thinking it was two chili dogs. Nope, that's the #1. only i didn't realize that until i had driven BACK over there. So i went straight to the drive thru window. It's around 1am. and i tell the guy i got the wrong thing. "I ordered a #2 and i got a polish saushage. polis shausage. POLISH SAUSAGE sandwich" and the guy just stared at me. after about 5 seconds of silence i'm like "HELLO!!!" and he says "what do you want me to do about it??" and i said "well, i was supposed to get two chili dogs. can you FIX IT?" and he grabs the bag all rude like. then opens the window back up and says "that'll be .31 cents" WTF? i just paid you 6.04!! so he tells me that it costs more for the chili dogs. Mother .... argh! So i hand him change. Meanwhile, my roommate is crackin' up. I look over and she says "His name tag says 'Dizzle'" and then we laugh for.ev.er. About 3 minutes later, he comes back with my chili dogs. I got home and let them go to waste. He had such a problem with helping me and seemed so upset about it. I was afraid to eat the dogs. afraid he had "dizzled" in my chili dogs. so i didn't eat them. i refused!!!

Convenience store - (four minutes after leaving the schnitz) Jessica and i are sitting in the car after coming out of the store and this truck drives up next to us. Two guys and one girl, the girl is riding "bitch." She falls out of the truck and practically stumbles and staggers her way into the store. To which i reply "she's DRUNK!" and jessica says "So are those guys" and i look over and Bubba and Jack (names i made up for them) are staring at us, their tongues waggin'. Then Bubba roles down his winder. I'm on the passenger side, closest to him and i don't know why my roommate hates me, but she rolls down my window. "Heeeeeeeey girls. How are you doing?" and i said (must read this with a drunk voice) "heeeeeeeeey. howrYOUdo.en?" and jessica (the My Name is Earl fanatic) says "Heeeeeeey dummies!" and they bust out laughing. OMG. Then bubba is like "where arrrrrrrrrrrrrre youuuuuuuuuu going?" and i said "home" and then he proceeds to tell us that the girl is NOT his girl but his brother in law's wife. And i ask, "So she's your sister?" and he's like, "YEAH! noooooo. " and then jack says "she's my sister." or something like that. by this point, i'm laughing so hard i am almost wetting myself. So she comes back out, her eyes rolling in her head and says, "I jesss the sissssssstER in law. nutin' roooooomANtic." and then climbs back into bitch. weird.


Grocery store - i ran into the the grocery store quickly to get Laken some milk and i'm wearing this shirt over here.

<-------

Then, the lady at the cash stand says "My husband LOVES that game." History on the tshirt: it belongs to a stupid exboyfriend of mine. one night i stayed over and woke up late and snatched this shirt. ended up never giving it back. i like it. i always thought it was a band. wasn't until today that i found out it was an XBOX game popular among overgrown little boys, aka, MEN. So anyway, she's scanning my milk cartons and then says "can you find out where he got it?" and i tell her "no" Then she says "I'll buy it from you!" OK!!! and what do i wear out of the store?? Crazy lady!! so i laugh and think surely she's off her rocker. who asks someone if they can buy the shirt off their back.... ??? WHO?! after 30 seconds go by, she hands me my receipt and says "Will you take ten bucks for it?" to which i gave her a "lady, you're crazy" look and told her that it was weird and that nobody has ever asked me something like that. and she continues to tell me how much her husband loved the game, that it's a shooting game (i could've figured that one out with the "guns" and all, lady) and proceeds to cock her finger like she's cocking a gun. holds it up and then i grab laken and the milk and laugh my way out of the store.

seriously. i don't make this shit up. i'm glad jessica was there to at least witness Dizzle and Bubba and Jack. just so you don't think i'm a habitual liar and live in some alternate universe...

17 Comments:

At 5:24 PM , Blogger Babs said...

WTF? How do these things happen to you? You must have a much more exciting life than I do.
He, he. Am still laughing about Dizzle.

 
At 5:52 PM , Blogger angieoh! said...

I have to admit, I am one of those people who would offer to buy the shirt... I am always like that when I see somthing cool.. at least she wasn't like "that shirt @$@#$@# sucks."

:)

 
At 6:48 PM , Blogger Greta said...

i had some gay men offer to buy my pink furry hat off me for 30.00 ..should have sold it to them..i had another one just like it at home...but i didn't....lol

 
At 8:14 PM , Blogger Scott said...

Sounds like a typical night out in Texas!! Hahahaa...

Scott

 
At 9:59 PM , Blogger Valerie said...

You have some of the craziest things happen to you!! It's crazy!! At least it makes life interesting!!

 
At 5:37 AM , Blogger Leesa said...

Funny post. Love your life.

Oh, and I answered your dream question in the comments. About teeth falling out.

Buying the shirt off your back. You can't dream this stuff up!

 
At 7:31 AM , Blogger BR@NDY said...

LMAO. That is the funniest crap ever.

 
At 8:00 AM , Blogger Kirsten said...

At least you can't say your life is boring!

 
At 8:14 AM , Blogger OutInLeftField said...

LOL...those are awesome stories! I particularly like the "I'll buy the shirt from you!" What the hell???? Ok lady, go on Ebay for God's sake!

 
At 8:37 AM , Blogger sarah said...

you have one crazy fun life girlie!

I can't believe that lady thought she could buy your shirt right off your back?! WTF?

 
At 8:37 AM , Blogger Alison said...

Oh girl.
It's too funny.
It's TOO funny.

 
At 9:13 AM , Blogger Jamie said...

You passed up $10?!?!? I so would have just given her my shirt, lol! I would be stoked about $10! Hee!

 
At 12:50 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

dang girl why didn't you take the $$$!!!
that totally happened to my friend in Vegas, he was offered $100 for a hat he got for free!!!
and the drive through story cracks me up!!!

 
At 4:40 PM , Blogger em said...

I really think you should have just whipped off your shirt right there and said for her to pay you ten for the shirt and another 20 for the show!

 
At 8:13 PM , Anonymous kristi sauer said...

OMG!! How funny that all this happened to you! I can't even decide which story was funnier :)

 
At 7:06 AM , Blogger elizabeth said...

lmao...i too would not have eaten the dogs...no "extra sauce" for me thank you very much.

 
At 3:34 AM , Blogger glo-girl said...

You were RIGHT ON. A lot can happen in 3 minutes...

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

LMAO...

 

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