Just As i Am...


it's all in the numbers....

so, thought i would give you an update of my life in ... NUMBERS!!!

8 - number of years it has been since my last dentist appointment.

2- number of teeth i will be LOSING due to decay. Apparently, it's almost to the nerve and i will need to have it cleaned, which might result in a ROOT CANAL and more than likely will result in CROWNS!

4 - number of teeth that will be pulled from my mouth. this consists of all four of my wisdom teeth which are impacted and must be removed by an oral surgeon.

2 - number of cavities i have in other teeth that will also need fillings.

1 - percent chance that, since i have a wisdom tooth straddling the nerve they numb when extracting them, damage will be done to the nerve resulting in PERMANENT LOWER LIP PARALYSIS

Several - number of teeth i will lose should i choose to forego wisdom teeth extraction mentioned above...

0 - number of whitening products i am allowed to use since my teeth are highly sensitive. this means no whitening toothpaste, gels, strips, or trays.

4 - number of teeth currently suffering from my receding gums. 2 of which have their root exposed.

5000 - number of dollars it will approximately cost me to get my mouth and teeth back up to par.

1 - girl who seriously believes in karma at this point because she constantly rags on people with ugly teeth. said person is me, chriselda, owner of this blog.

1 - number of years my son has been in this world. He turned one yesterday!!!

Too many - number of steps he independently takes around the house. He won't need me anymore!!!

3 - number of nights he will not be spending with me. sigh.


7 - number of shows i have starting tonight! eek!

50 - number of pounds i need to lose by tonight in order to avoid looking like a fat pig in the photos...

6 - number of pimples that have conveniently reared their ugly heads on my face

3 - number of lines that are about 5 words long that i always flub during rehearsal

very little - number of dollars i have in my bank account...


1 - very tired, stressed, confused, and mentally exhausted chic!!!


Anna in blogland...

today is the last day that we have rehearsal before this show opens!!

this is our set. i have been so blessed to be such a part of this experience. i have seen this set go from an empty room to a couple of wood walls to paint and now this...

i don't know if any of you have ever done any acting, but it is a whole new world!!!

A few things: it has been hard to get into my character because she is happy, lost, sad, frightened, alluring, sexually invisible, and innocent from one scene to the next. I didn't know what "stage left" meant, what alot of the terms are. I knew nothing about the WORK that goes into all of this until i started it. Makes me appreciate acting so much more now. Even the bad actors get major KUDOS from me!!!

If you click here, you can see the photos from last night's dress rehearsal. I was the one taking the pics, so there aren't very many pics of me. Plus, i am sans-wig. I have two wigs in this show and because i have so much hair, and a big head, our hair guy is on the fritz trying to find a 'do for me. otherwise, it was pretty much character.

for those of you who don't know, the play is set in 1929, in a Cigar Factory, we roll cigars by hand and hire a "lector" to come in and read to us. He chooses Anna Karenina by Tolstoy - thus "Anna" in the tropics...

The first few photos you see are just of everyone getting into costume. Being in those dressing areas just made my day!!! Then you'll see some of the crew that does lighting and sound.

So, it's a Cuban family and our director/genius, Allen, decides we should get some dancers pre-show to set the mood. This dance is so sensual and soft and ... fantastic. i wish you could see it. i will have to have someone video tape it so you can get the idea. Anyway, this is the show setter. As soon as they end their dance, we start our first scene. Since i was on stage, i couldn't do any actual photography, so you won't see any of that until later.

We run the show like we're doing it in front of an audience. if we lose our lines, we have to drown in it and find our way back out. I LOST MY LINES IN EVERY SCENE LAST NIGHT. We all have to speak in Spanish accents. it's craziness i tell ya. it's sooooooo hard to stay in character. we get a break between acts and then at the end of the night we have to sit down in front of our director for "NOTES" This has been the hardest, yet BEST, part for me. This is when he critiques you in front of everyone else. And you have to take it. There have been nights when i've done a shit job and he tells me. There are nights when i am spot on but my accent went who-knows-where. He picks, pokes, jabs... and you have to take it. It's awesome.

That is our most serious part. I love the photos of all of us during this because you can tell how serious we are about our critiques. Love this!!!

i wish you could all see it. because i'm really proud of myself for doing this! and i want to officially thank my friend Jason, (Chester), for introducing theater to me. For asking me to audition and thus bringing me into this wonderful experience!! I love you this much and am soooooooooooo ready to get my "Conchita" on!!!

and i hope you all enjoy the pictures!!! i shall return to blogland when this is all over!!!!



this past week, i have done all of the following:

*tried on at least 15 dresses in the hopes of finding one that wraps around my lovely lady lumps. (in the back and in the front)
* left work to rush to rehearsal for a newspaper photo shoot, during which i couldn't get my mouth to stop twitching because i hate hate hate to be in FRONT of the camera
* gone through an emotional roller coaster because i am pretending to be someone else. i am tellin' ya. this acting thing is harder than it looks. it really makes me respect even the bad actors in hollywood.
* stayed awake until 4 am only to be up again at 7
* spent a night away from my son- which resulted in failing to take him to daycare the next morning because i missed him so much.
* realized my teeth are falling out
* bleached my teeth for a grand total of about 5 hours
* done two loads of laundry that are still sitting on the recliner waiting for hangers...
* developed a crick in my neck that made it almost impossible to drive for lack of the ability to turn my head.
* taken darvocet, hydrocodone, and 1200 mg of Ibuprofen to alleviate the pain of said crick
* read a book i am supposed to be reading for one of my classes
* realized i have a paper due on Sunday evening
* formed some sort of massive pimple on my face (see below)
* had to sit in front of a camera, yet again, for a head shot for the play
* ordered another pair of shoes for this show because the ones i originally ordered and JUST recieved were waaaaaay too big
* gone to the hospital three times to start Moc Doc rotations next week
* signed up for volunteer work at the United Way office out of sheer stupidity because i think i have all the time in the world...
* jam-packed my wednesday next week like a can of sardines: School 9-10am, hospital 11-2, dentist 230, laken time until 7 BECAUSE IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY!!!!!!, rehearsal 7-whenever...
* today i got two pricks. one for a TB test and the other for my Hepatitis B shot. holy hell that was freaky. i didn't realize she was going to JAB it into my arm though... but my tolerance for pain is ok so i am fine

i am so loopy. seriously. someone told me today that it was friday and i was like ".... oh YEAH! it is friday"

i went to get a breakfast burrito through the drive thru- and failed to drive thru. i just sat there until the lady said "ok, drive around" such a dumbass

but!!!! TODAY IS MY HALF BIRTHDAY... (so say "happy half birthday) and thanks alot for all forgetting it... some friends!

also... as promised, here is the link to our play "review" in the newspaper today! So ready for this baby to be done and over.

have a happy friday and i am MIA next week... it's because i'm insane. (and quickly realizing i am NOT wonderwoman!)


ok... so i'm pretty brave putting myself out there like this. but here it is...


not only did i get this thing the week before the play opens, but at 2 o'clock yesterday afternoon, my director called me and said "i forgot to tell you we have headshots for the play tonight. they will hang in the hall during the show, so you'll want to put your best face forward..."

why?! WHY ME?! soooooo, because i am completely gullible - i decided to put toothpaste on my face to dry it out.

can i just say - it DOESN'T WORK. and this thing is soooooo big that even concealer won't cover it up.

so i sat down to take my photo and asked the photographer to Photoshop it out. No biggie. i can do it. raina can do it. april can do it. And he said, "what? your mole?" and i gasped! It's not a mole! it's just a pimple the size of one. a couple of people suggested i should a put a dot of brown eyeliner on it and pass it off as a beauty mark. But don't you think people would get a little curious when i don't have it the night of the shows?

argh! so. such is life.

Next week - volunteering at the United Way. Starting my Moc Doctor rounds at the hospital! YAY! i have two rotations in Surgery which makes me feel very Meredith Grey.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand - because i am constantly ragging on people's teeth - i have bad karma!
i have been whitening mine for a while now and was flossing the other day when i realized it is very possible that i might have receding gum lines. My roots for two of my teeth are ALMOST exposed!!! i'm freakin' out. my teeth are going to fall out! So i have a dentist appt. next week as well. He's going to yank out all my teeth and replace them with horse teeth. (what i like to call fake teeth) I'm too young for dentures!
Then... ladies and gentleman - my play opens on Thursday. Seven showings over the next two weekends. I'm really excited and nervous and scared. Our newspaper ad comes out tomorrow... i'll try to provide a link if there is one!

love you all! i'm off to get some scrappin' done!


new look

ok - so a few things here...

i figured it was about time for a new banner. don't like this one as much. but it's cool!!! sometimes i wish my computer would break - and i could stay away. then i realize how much i actually embrace the insanity that goes on in that little machine!

second - i have removed the links to your blogs because more people that i acutally know are reading this thing and have kinda started stalking you all. Sooooooo, i removed you for your own sake!! haha! I know you're on the world wide web - but i don't want an invasion of your privacy to be my fault... so. I have you listed on my BlogLines and will still be cruisin' by... but otherwise, i don't want to serve as an index.

thirdly - the photo from my last post is not mine. it was an email that i got. so i don't know if it is real or photoshopped.

ok - off to work. blech. hope you all enjoy the last of the weekend and HAPPY GREY'S ANATOMY DAY!!!!!


Have an Effin' Day!!!

it's so ugly here. i'm in the mood to sleep all day because the weather is just so crapish.

I forget i'm back from my hiatus. It's been hard to get back into the swing of things. i promise to come out of stalkerdome and start commenting again, though!

love you all!! *esp, you RAINA!!!!* even when you interrupt my vacations!

Here's a little somethin' somethin...

You know it's going to be a bad day when you're driving to work and see this:


it's my party and i'll throw cake on the floor if i want to!

so.... laken's party was rough. i'm not maternal. don't get me wrong - i love my son more than anything in this world... but ask me to host screaming kids and i'll be lost. So, it was a small event. just a few people. i picked up these awesome finger foods and then his cake from Miss Piggy's. It is an awesome flippin' bakery and i LOVED what they did with this cake!!! This is the turtle from Baby Einstein and laken will light up any time he sees him on the television screen.

Anyway, i decorated my mom's house and then everyone started coming over. We got it all started with the gifts. Laken wasn't interested. He just looked at me. So... it was like it was my birthday... (only there were gifts!!!) So, after digging through bags of clothes, books, and toys, we put him in his high chair for the big finale!!!

A little background. My son will not put things in his mouth. No toys. No pennies. No plastic. He doesn't do the whole pacifier thing. He won't eat food from his hands... it has to be on a fork or spoon. and i'm beginning to think he doesn't like to be dirty either. To add to all of that... my son doesn't like sweets. No cookies. No cupcakes. No candies. Coke. Nothing!!! Sooooo. I had my premonitions that the cake thing wouldn't be a success. After lighting the candle and singing... he just stared at it. He touched it and i guess liked the texture so he dug into it. Which was cute. (but not cute... all at the same time) But he wouldn't eat it. So. I grabbed a fork and put some in his mouth.

Yeah, that went really well! After this, i wiped cake off his hands, licked it off my fingers and his two grandmothers (my mom and my aunt, haha) took him to the other room for a nap. Kids! So i was stuck hosting the party. Why didn't anyone tell me that was hard stuff?! I was like, "oh, i guess i'll cut the other cake?" And i served it up. I'm not a good ... whatever you want to call this. It was rough. Motherhood is tough when it comes to parties. So, now we're back at home. Safe and sound... Laken's actual birthday isn't until the 29th. We'll have something small and quiet here at my house for that. not sure if i'll attempt the cake again though...


i thought you were special....

when i was little... i used to dream of becoming the ice cream truck driver. i wanted to give my grandma free ice cream!

how ambitious, eh?

and right now, i'm reading my bio for the Playbill of my play and it says "chriselda plans on becoming a psychiatrist." and wow... where did that come from? Sometimes, i just want to be the ice cream truck driver.

Truth is - i don't believe in happiness. i don't believe in love. or anger. or passion. i think they are all emotions that you have to spend your life trying to define. and that's 90% of any dream you have... just trying to find a way to make it concrete.

I am a "glass is half empty" girl because there's always room for more. always room to put more into that glass. so stop bitching about the definitive line and flippin' fill your glass already. and get some scotch in there... with ice. let the ice displace whatever needs to be displaced in that little tumbler that is your life. and as you watch sweat bubbles seep through the glass and slip on down to the table, forming that little ring that will surely eat the wood - i want you to think about all the time that you spend obessing about the unnecessary things in life. Why do you need to know if it's full or half full or half empty? just work on putting more in. and then drink that shit up!!! open your mouth wide, throw your head back and down that sucker!! cause life is too short to sit and obsess about it's contents....

.... and i'm rambling!!! Laken's party is in TWO DAYS!!! he'll be one in 20 days! i can't believe this day has come. and this whole year i've seen that glass for what it is... just a glass... waiting to be filled....