***Another Guest Blogger ****

So Here I Am!!! And on time for a change.

Chriselda asked me if I would do a guest blog for her and I readily agreed after the following thoughts:

1) This idea has always intrigued me and I actually had a guest blogger myself a couple of months ago. Chriselda is being extremely brave though. Seriously brave. I was nervous about what exactly the guest blogger would write....and she knew me. Chriselda is putting her blog into the hands of a certifiable....um....never mind.

2) When I asked her for some details (as in ground rules) she had none! This was her response; 'I just like your writing and want you in my land so I can say I had a "piece of that!" (Yeah, I'm putty in her hands now. Weak in the knees and slack-jawed as well. I think if you look closely you'll see drool on my chin.)

3) Chriselda blogs in the nude. Honest. Well ok, I can't actually say I have a confirmed sighting but using my vivid imagination I'm sure that's how it is. (And she's cute so she can get away with this.)

So anyway I agreed to do this. That was the easy part since she stroked my ego, patted my head so to speak.

The hard part was deciding exactly what to blog about?

Quite the dilemma. As I recall Chriselda actually found me again last Fall after I deleted an old blog and started the one I currently have. I really didn't want to alienate her. But then after further thought, she's still reading me now...perhaps that's not going to be an issue.

You see I bring out two thoughts in most women I meet in life. Yes the dreaded 'double D's' if you will. (I disgust them and they discourage any further contact.)

(So what if I collect restraining orders like some people collect stamps or coins?? We all need our little hobbies.)

So where the hell was I? Oh....the dilemma. What to write about.

I thought the best way to determine this was to do a thorough blog inspection. So I dug around Chriselda's archives like a sorority boy during a panty raid. (I was impressed to say the least and actually a little more than just a little turned on. I'll send back any borrowed materials Chriselda. They were needed as research items, honest!)

(Can anyone tell me if it's necessary to dry clean a thong? Just wondering. Thanks in advance. Oh....some of this other stuff....so lacy and frilly...again....a little help here please.)

I am so easily side-tracked.

So back to the content of this post. What to actually write about.

I decided an in-depth interview would be the way to go. Since I own her blog today I get to make the rules though. I not only get to ask the questions, but I also get to provide the answers as well.

(She does have the right to refute any of her answers or for that matter go into greater detail if she wishes. After all....I'm not a monster and can be quite charming and thoughtful at times despite the restraining orders.)

Mike: 'What is your favorite use for duct tape?'
Chriselda: 'I really don't think you need to know this Mike. Just be satisfied that this wonder tape can spice up any room in the house.'

Mike: 'If your nickname was Room Service exactly what would that imply?'
Chriselda: 'It would depend on the type of room and who exactly is in the room. For instance Mike, if it was for you, it would imply soggy toast and lukewarm coffee at best.'

Mike: 'What is your opinion on the prostitution of the tooth fairy?'
Chriselda: 'What the fuck is the matter with you Mike? Don't confuse the tooth fairy with that slut Snow White and those seven little perverts she runs around with!'

Mike: 'Do you consider yourself weird?'
Chriselda: 'Not after meeting you. I must have been insane to let you do this to me!'

Mike: 'What is your first thought before you go to bed?'
Chriselda: 'It used to be I wish I had the love of my life sharing this bed. Now it's pretty much did I lock the door so that perverts like you cant sneak in?'

Mike: 'What's the meanest thing you've allowed someone to do to you?'
Chriselda: 'Actually I'm starting to think that this is gaining ground. I will be kicking your ass in the near future.'

Mike: 'Would you ever participate in a threesome?'
Chriselda: 'Only if the other two participants were you. Now before you get all big-headed let me explain. I figure as old and frail as you are it would take two of you to keep up with one of me.'

Mike: 'How do you vent your anger?'
Chriselda: 'I've made reservations at a very nice restaurant for us to show my gratitude to you. The best part is that it is strategically located within walking distance of both the emergency room and a funeral parlor. (Wear clean underwear.)' *** edited to ask if you normally don't wear clean underwear. if not, i've got a few that you can borrow...***

So that's all I've got. I think the last question pretty much sealed the deal and why should I push my luck?

Thanks for allowing me to make a fool of myself today Chriselda and best of luck on that leading role you landed in the play. Some day I will be able to tell people...well...any that will listen....that I knew ya before you became a big star!

********** thanks Mike! i crack up every time i trip on your blog. hopefully my readers are smart enough to find the links to your craziness in this post!! oh and...after your Wedding Recap i'm beginning to think that you and I are over and that you've ridden off into eternal bliss with Deb. Can i at least be "the other woman?"