oh, hmmmmmph.

first off, did you love my little audio post below? that was so much fun and will probably eliminate my need to type on this thing when i've got something stupid i need to bring to everyone's attention!

second... at Brynne-jamin's request... i have updated because she wants me to tell a story that, once again, can only happen to me.

So i had to join in on the whole dieting thing because if i'm not careful, people will start asking me how far along i am... and what am i having? So my friend and mostly partner in crime, Amy, went to the gym yesterday morning. i was running on the tread mill when i saw this hunky LL Cool J look alike and thought, man he looks familiar, and then BAM!!!! Fell off the treadmill! Caught myself on the railing but nonetheless totally made a spectacle of myself. Amy looks over, "WTF?" and my mom (who just happened to be at the gym at the same time) is there too. Turns out, that little hottie was my first love. My high school boyfriend.

Meet Ray. The first time i saw him i was walking out of my Economics class my sophomore year in high school, and effin' ran *right into the wall* - knocking myself flat on my ass and papers flew everywhere. He came over to help. I was embarrased. Then we were together. And i loved this guy. Lost myself to him (if you know what i mean) and will always love him. ALWAYS!

so moving back and knowing that he had moved back into town, gotten married, had children, and now works at some spectacular job made me nervous. Was i going to run into him? and if i did, was i going to shat myself? so i've been nervous. nervous that he and his white picket fence family would come into Olive Garden and i would be the chump waitress. explain that? nervous that the day would come where i would see him. And there it is. Yesterday morning at the gym as i was rounding one mile on the tread and pfffft! there he is in all his glory. i wanted to die. wanted to crawl under a rock. wanted to be skinnier most of all.

he's there with (who i am assuming is) his wife. she's cute. hmph. and i want to talk to him. want to talk to him and see if he ... i dunno. but i didn't. but somehow managed to walk in front of him and trip over absolutely nothing on the carpet! it was horrible and amy just shook her head.

so again i ask... How. and WHY? why me. i wasn't prepared for this. never could've been. but sheesh... did it have to be at the time when i am my most skankiest, stinky, self? i don't think he recognized me. don't think he even realized i burnt a whole in the back of his head from staring so much...

maybe one day he'll go to the gym alone and i can say hi. or just sit there... I all of a sudden feel very Harry from When Harry Met Sally when he says "in a city of 8 million people, you're bound to run into your ex." at least i wasn't singing Surry With a Fringe on Top. but i *did* fall off the treadmill. so, which is worse?